It's now or never

Jeff Dunham - Achmed the Dead Terrorist

2008-04-27T20:07:00.001+08:00

Hilarious! Enjoy it, and then look for other videos. The ones with Walter and Peanut are sooo funny too.:D

(Silence! I kill you! ... hahaha)

Fire On The Mountain by Asa [Asha]

2008-01-06T20:32:00.001+08:00

I love her! Thanks to Jong I discovered her music.

Oh it's what you do to me

2007-11-18T16:56:00.001+08:00

Better Together (live)

2007-10-04T14:25:00.001+08:00

A new friend introduced Jack Johnson and his music to me the other night.
I already love him. This is one of my favorite songs now.

Someday

2007-09-14T15:58:00.000+08:00

Someday
by Nina

Someday you'll gonna realize
One day you'll see this through my eyes
But then I won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if I cared

I know
You don't really see my worth
You think you're the last guy on earth
Well I've got news for you
I know I'm not that strong
But it won't take long
Won't take long

'Cause someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, I wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you
Someday, someday

Right now
I know you can tell
I'm down and I'm not doin' well
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I won't have to cry
Sweet goodbye

'Cause someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, I wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you
Someday, I know someone's gonne be there

Someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, I wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you
Someday, someday

Birthday blues ...

2007-06-29T10:20:00.000+08:00

Why do birthdays bring in a sense of melancholy in me?

I will be turning a year older 8 days from now. 31. Although many have already defied the norms, being single at that age is still a big deal in our country. We have this sort of saying that says "Malapit ka ng mawala sa kalendaryo! (if literally translated in English -- You will be out of the calendar very soon!); which implies, if you are still single and unmarried, that you have to hurry up and get hitched before it's too late.

My mom has been asking if I already have someone in my life who I will be getting married to soon. When I told her that I am still very much available, she told me to go online and meet people. She has been telling me stories about relatives and acquaintances who meet people online and are now married. She said that if they were able to find someone, it surely wouldn't be hard for me to do so since I am not bad-looking at all. I know my mom means well. I know she just wants me settled and happy because I deserve so.

I have always thought my being single at this age was caused by me being out of shape, by me being fat. I have often said to myself to lose weight or else I would never find someone who will like me, love me. But deep inside, I know that one can find love regardless of what shape and size they are in. I have met a lot of people who have found someone who loves them just the way they are. I guess blaming my being fat is just my form of defense ... just to convince myself that it is possible for me to find love someday.

But now that I am slowly losing weight, I believe that I may have to prepare myself to face the hard and sad truth. The truth that there must be something in me that just makes me unlovable.

Belated happy birthday to you ...

2007-03-21T13:47:00.000+08:00

I received a birthday reminder from Yahoo a few days ago. I was contemplating whether to send him a greeting or not. I have been doing so for as long as I can remember. For the past 8 years, I haven't failed to send him one. And everytime I do so, he replies and express his surprise that I haven' forgotten about him and his birthday.

Five days have already passed. I may not have sent you one but that doesn't mean I have forgotten.

"I remember the boy
But I don't remember
The feelings anymore"

(hehehe .. ang baduy :D)

Feeling ganda ko naman (^o^)v

2007-02-27T20:52:00.000+08:00

Hahaha ... isa pa nga ....

http://www.myheritage.com

The AI fanatic in me

2007-02-23T10:27:00.000+08:00

Based on what I have seen so far, here's my top 6 girls:
1) Melinda Doolittle
2) Lakisha Jones
3) Jordin Sparks
4) Sabrina Sloan
5) Stephanie Edwards
6) Gina Glocksen (or Leslie Hunt)

As for the guys, here's my top 6 (but honestly, I would prefer to have more girls than boys in the top 12 this season):
1) Chris Sligh
2) Blake Lewis
3) Brandon Rogers
4) AJ Tabaldo
5) Rudy Cardenas [update: eliminated :( ]
6) Nick Pedro

The AI fanatic in me

2007-02-23T01:32:00.000+08:00

It’s American Idol season once again! And I am rooting for Ms. Doolittle big time. I enjoyed her during her auditions. I loved what I heard in the Hollywood round. And now I am simply in awe of her.

Go Melinda!!! It is your time to shine.

(Other favorites: Lakisha Jones, Jordin Sparks, Chris Sligh and Blake Lewis. And because he is a Filipino, I am also hoping that AJ Tabaldo does well.)

Killing time...

2007-02-22T11:01:00.000+08:00

The things you do when you're bored at work
1) Make a birthday thingy guideline requested by an admin colleague
2) Make a budget
3) Blog

I have been racking my brains for an interesting topic to write about the past 2 hours but I can't come up with anything good. Is that how boring my life has become? Maybe … or maybe not.

Eventhough I have been sick, the past weeks have been quite exciting. I went skiing not once but twice. Yeah baby, that's two weekends in a row. The first ski tour in Nagano was with Japanese Peace Child group which I have been joining since 2003. There were a lot of first timers from our company so I sort of acted as one of their ski guides.

The second ski tour was organized by my former manager in IBM/Lenovo. It has been almost 2 years since I left; so it was nice to see again my sempai and the other people I worked with after a long time. Well, I got sick after the first ski tour; but being sick did not stop me from going up and down the slopes of the beautiful ski resort in Gunma.

It's really quite exciting to see first timers learning and liking the sport I have grown to love. I can still remember the first sukamod/subsub I did getting off that scary lift, the frustration I felt because I could not stand up after falling without having to remove my skis first, the scare I felt going down the slope because my skis seemed to have a mind of their own and wouldn't slow down no matter how wide my V stance had become, and the first prayer I said hoping that someone would pass by and help me stand up from an awkward frog-like pose. Aahhh…the joys and pains of skiing; who wouldn't get addicted to that?

I am still no expert but I am a beginner no more. I still fall down sometimes but not as often as before. I still do the V stance but not as wide as it used to be, and yes, I do the parallel stance now from time to time. And this time around, I was the answer to somebody's prayer. Isn't that cool?

Skipping lunch is a no-no

2006-11-15T13:28:00.000+08:00

Having a crush on someone who you get to see for only a few minutes during lunch break is as frustrating as losing weight. On the second thought, it is ten times more frustrating. At least with losing weight, I have (more or less) a control over it and can do something about it (even if I don't get the exact results I want).

Here's the thing, I don't know anything about him. I do not even know his name. I once thought of following him just to see if his workplace is only a floor or two away from mine. This may sound more like stalking (think Fatal Attraction) but it really is 100 times less intense than it seems. (Desperate situations call for desperate measures. =) Anyway, I coerced a friend to hang around outside the cafeteria with me after having lunch and wait for him to pass by. He usually finishes lunch ahead of us and sits on a bench with a friend outside the cafeteria. A few minutes before the bell rang, there he was with his ruggedly handsome face heading towards the building across from ours. Sadly, the chance of meeting him in the hallway is from slim to none. I guess there is nothing more I can do.

... but then, we'll (I'll) always have lunch break.

I am no Demi ...

2006-09-11T16:24:00.000+08:00

... nor a Kris.

But is a 10-year difference that bad?

Well, how about an eight?

Crazy Game

2006-08-01T15:43:00.000+08:00

I admit my mistake.

It's my own doings that had led me into this predicament.

It was stupid to think that it wouldn't affect me.

I knew where I stood.

I was aware that it wouldn't lead to anything.

(You never failed to remind me of that.)

I knew all along and I thought I would be cool with it.

As long as I was having fun, then nothing else matters -- that's what I kept telling myself.

But I was wrong.

Seeing you with her made me realize that there is still this silly little girl in me who has hopes and dreams of being someone's only one.

"Crazy game, i never should have started to play,
but now you couldn't tear me away cause love is sweet,
sweet baby. so good to you and so bad and i fear,
the situation's clear before my eyes. confusion wants to
break me and it tries but i've been a little bit stronger
from the start listen to my heart.."

AI5

2006-03-03T00:44:00.000+08:00

I want Elliott Yamin to win this season's American Idol. (He may not be as cute as Will and David, but who cares ... I love listening to him sing.)

GO ELLIOTT!

(Please vote for him every week.)

sa-wat dee kaa

2006-01-17T18:58:00.000+08:00

Thailand ... here we come!

The way we were...

2006-01-06T09:33:00.000+08:00

He called to ask if he could change my mind and convince me to come. I gave him a pretty lame excuse of being busy thus not being able to take a day off from work. He said he's willing to pay for my fare. I told him that money is not an issue. I wanted to be there but just couldn't.

That happened two days ago. He is getting married today. My good friend who has sent me flowers during my last two birthdays. The one who never fails to see me everytime I am in Manila; who offers to pick me up or bring me to the airport, takes me to places where the food is great and shows me how glad he is to see me again.

We stopped talking since the last time I saw him in Manila last September ... the time when he told me that he has already accepted the fact that he would be a married man soon. There were still occasional text messages and phone calls but brief and impersonal ones. Gone were the calls that lasted for hours and the text messages asking how my day was.

I guess it was best that way.

Still, I can't help but wonder how things would have turned out if I replied differently ... on that fateful night in August. If we had the chance to do it all again ... Tell me, would we? could we?

"Mem’ries, may be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So it’s the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember...
The way we were...
The way we were... "
-- Way we were, Barbra Streisand

それが人生なのさ。。。

2005-10-12T10:08:00.000+08:00

やめるな！
いいかげんにしなさい。
自分を大切にして。

人生にはいつも苦痛が伴う。
いちいち気にしていたら切りがない。

人生は長くないので　楽しまなければならない。

Crazy things you do in the wee hours of the morning

2005-10-06T17:02:00.000+08:00

I think I just did something stupid. Something I would not have done if I was in a proper state of mind (which I am not in right now after days of staying in the office until the next morning).

Note to oneself:

Never listen to IG music when in half-awake, half-asleep state.

Self-pity attack

2005-09-29T11:53:00.000+08:00

It has been quite awhile since the last time I felt this way. I even thought it was high time to modify my blog header into something more positive like " ... ramblings of a girl who has discovered herself" or something more catchy. However, that may not happen for quite sometime. Sad to say but I am back to square one.

A close friend has noticed that my usual cheerful aura has been replaced by a gloomy one; my usual talkative self has been silent; and my smile has been missing for days.

"Smile uyy ... sayang ang imong beauty.", she said.
" Aha kaha ng beauty ha oi?", I replied.
" Look at the mirror.", she answered.
" Dili ko makatrust sa ako judgement kay wala ko makit-an na confirmation." I found myself answering back.

Why? What happened?

Nothing drastic happened actually. I'm just tired. I'm gaining back the pounds I have lost the past 2 years. And though I am still in denial, my almost healed heart is again experiencing bouts of pain.

I feel ugly and unwanted.

*sigh*

----

2005-09-20T15:31:00.000+08:00

It's just one of those days again! I feel like sh*t. I am tired. I am cranky. I feel like the whole world is against me. (Talking about how b*tchy I have been the past few days.)

A piece of advice -- better keep your distance coz I might bite your head off if you don't.

(I need to go home and sleep early today. Hopefully, this will make me feel a bit better.)

What a lovely wedding!

2005-08-09T09:50:00.000+08:00

To Lloyd and Jean, wishing you a lifetime of happiness!

What's up with me?

2005-08-05T18:23:00.000+08:00

I had the longest phone conversation with my mammie a week ago (thanks to 10 pesos lang isang tawag from PLDT to Smart!). It lasted a little over two hours which kept me awake till almost two in the morning on a work day. Topics of our conversation? Well, it varied from shallow ones like me gaining weight to serious ones like my aunt and her family problem.

*****
Playing favorites

Last week, one of my aunts left her family and came to our home. She had an ugly row with one of her children (my girl cousin M) regarding the issue of my aunt always ready to lend a hand to one of her other children (my boy cousin P). Kesyo, my cousin P has always been the favorite among them since they were small; that everytime my cousin P asks for something, my aunt readily gives it to him. You see, my aunt has 7 children all in all. Everyone is married except for my cousin N who is the youngest. Unfortunately among them, cousin P has the least success in life. He has 4 children (ranging from a few months old baby to 8-year old girl). My aunt gives them groceries like milk, Milo, etc. and lends them some stuff. And that makes cousin M boiling mad. She is angered by the thought of my aunt giving assistance to cousin P's family. Cousin M is so consumed by anger and hatred that she speaks obscene words to her mother. She calls her names and even makes gestures which are uncalled for. She has a grudge against her mother which makes her do things I couldn't imagine myself doing to my own mom. She says she's not the only one; her other siblings feel the same way. Cousin P has always been the favorite; the rest of them are often neglected.

"Do we play favorites?" mama asked during our conversaton. "Do you feel there is a favored child among you and your siblings?" she added.

I honestly haven't felt there's a favoritism in our family. Naturally, one would be praised when one does good; and one would be reprimanded if one did something wrong.

Well, my youngest sister had a different answer to mama's question. She replied, "Si luluk man ang favorite ni mama." And I agree to that .... he is everybody's favorite.

who wouldn't love this charming little boy?

*****

I am seriously considering pushing through with the arm reduction treatment. I already asked my sister in Manila to do some inquiries about it. (She has a friend who had a treatment under Vicky Belo's rival Dr. Manny Calayan.)

I know this will cost me a lot. But I am willing go for it if it means me being more confident with myself. Even my mom is all for it. "Suportahan kita dette, basta malipay ka."

*****
More updates in bullets

I had a great 29th birthday. A long, warm hug from my mammie; three long stemmed roses from a special friend; a beautiful bouquet of roses from my dear friends; a food-filled party specially prepared by my dear mother; a beautiful cake from my wonderful officemates; great gifts which includes a very nice badminton racket and more ....
I got promoted which means more work and responsibilities (thus the long absence in the blogging world).
I will be in Manila less than 2 weeks from now.
I have been trying to lose weight for the wedding of my dear friend Jean tomorrow but to no avail.

Aahhhh, I miss blogging!!!

Birthday birthday

2005-07-07T07:49:00.000+08:00

Guess whose birthday it is today?

*hehehe ... shameless plugging*

My birthday gift to myself

2005-07-05T15:57:00.000+08:00

Since I started working, buying something nice as a birthday gift to myself has been kind of a yearly thing for me. Back in 2001, it was my cute Sony DVD player. A year after that, it was my nice but now needs to be fixed watch. Next, there was an online shopping spree at VS. Then last year, it was my precious ThinkPad.

I will be turning a year older in two days; as to what I will get for myself, that I have not decided on yet. So far, my choices are:

1) A new mobile phone
2) A flatscreen TV
3) An air conditioner for my room
4) An arm reduction treatment

Currently, my top pick is choice #1 since I really need one. However, I am seriously considering #4 coz I badly want it too. (Does anyone have an idea how much it would cost?). Anyway, no need to hurry since I still do not have the moolah to spend ... in a month or two perhaps. <sana dumating na...>

A pint of ice cream coming up...

2005-07-04T15:46:00.000+08:00

Boohoo to me for agreeing to a bet without knowing what I was up against.

You see, I have always been a tennis fan way back Boris Becker and Ivan Lendl's time. The Australian Open, French Open, Wimbledon and US Open are events I look forward to every year. Watching Pete Sampras and Steffi Graf defend their titles on TV has kept me awake till the wee hours of the morning in the past. However, in the last 4 years, having been in Japan where Grand Slam tournaments are mostly shown on cable TV, I have lost tracked of the who's who in the world of tennis. In the ladies' singles, I was aware that the Williams sisters were making names for themselves together with Davenport, Clijsters and Henin-Hardenne from internet readings; well, that was before the Russians took over. But in men's singles, not one name really stood out (or maybe I just wasn't a big follower of men's tennis after Sampras made an exit). There was Agassi but that was years back. Then, I heard the name Roddick because he was once linked to Mandy Moore; and Hewitt because he was the boyfriend of Clijsters (who I really like). But Federer who?

I can almost imagine tennis fanatics scream, "What?!? You don't know who Roger Federer is??". Well, I now know he's the number 1 player for the past 2 years and is being touted as the greatest player of all time. And after watching him play yesterday, I now know how ignorant of me to think that Roddick has a chance of reaching the fifth set in a match against the "complete player" Federer. And that ignorance just cost me a pint of double dutch ice cream.

"He's the most gifted player that I've ever seen in my life. I've seen a lot of people play. I've seen the (Rod) Lavers, I played against some of the great players -the Samprases, Beckers, Connors', Borgs, you name it. This guy could be the greatest of all time. That, to me, says it all." - John McEnroe, winner of 7 Grand Slams.

Am I too old for this?

2005-06-30T17:42:00.000+08:00

Java, JSP, SQL, Struts, etc. ... all this stuff might be clear-cut and uncomplicated to some people who are reading this blog like this particular guru master I know. But to me, they all sound foreign ... so out of this world; that no matter how many weeks of supposed studying have already passed, this ancient and rusty brain of mine is still not capable of creating a web app from scratch. It can be so frustrating at times. It makes me wonder if I had chosen the right field of work.

But I am not giving up ... not yet anyway. Teaching an old dog new tricks is indeed possible, an officemate once said. So, I guess there might still be hope for me. Luckily, I am surrounded with a bunch of guys who have been so patient in answering my dumb questions and helping me in every way they can. That plus a little more effort from my side, who knows I may finally get it right.

Krishie

2005-06-14T16:28:00.000+08:00

I thought things wouldn't be that different. After all, we would still see each other almost every week (with our US Open dream and all). But then, it just hit me ... how great of a difference you not being here in the office is. *sniff*

I am not feeling too good right now. A guy-related issue. In need of a girl-to-girl talk, I opened my YM and searched for your name ... I'm on SMS it says. Then and there, I realized that I already miss you girl; and how much more I will be missing you from now on. Coz you see, besides the eating-with-gusto frenzies and the play-till-we drop-sports activities that we do, it's the serious talks and chitchats that I treasure and enjoy the most. With you not being in here, there wouldn't be much of that anymore ... and that really makes me sad. *sniff*

As what you have said, we've been through a lot together. Through it all, it's you who has been the greatest friend ever. No matter how crazy I get, you are always there to listen to my rambling; and often times make me understand that such is life and we can't do anything about it but hope for the best. You have that something in you that make me want to become a better person ... and for that, I thank you.

mwah! ... >:D< this is me hugging you back tightly ... mingaw man ko nimo oi...

One

2005-06-14T09:22:00.000+08:00

H@pPy b!r+Hd@y BLOG !!!

WOW! A year ... that's how long it has been since I jumped on the bandwagon. So, how have I been living my life so far? Borrowing the words of Mary Roach, not too shabby. Although there are a few kinks to iron out , I still can say that life's been good ... a good-paying job, a new apartment, a wonderful family, great friends ... what more can I ask for? Okay, okay ... I admit. I am still hoping for it to happen. :)

And yes, by the way, thank you for your time.

What's up?

2005-05-24T16:10:00.000+08:00

I have been slacking again. And it's not because there is nothing to write about. On the contrary, quite a number of things happened since my last entry.

**********
Climb bebeh, climb

I had an Ethan Hunt moment last week when our company had wall climbing as our first CFC (Cebu Fun Club) activity of the year. I was not totally gaga about the idea but since I was the one tasked to revive CFC in order to promote camaraderie among the employees, I didn't have any other option but to go. And boy am I glad I didn't chicken out. It was not a "mission impossible" after all. Though there were slight embarrassing moments here and there, but who cares? Not only was I able to experience something new, I also had a blast with new found friends and old ones.

**********

From a Bo fan since the very beginning:

Is it only me who thinks Bo deserves to win American Idol over Carrie? Or are there other people out there who shares my opinion? My co-AI fanatics here in the office are all rooting for Carrie to win. Eventhough I do not have anything against her besides her almost robotic style of singing (hehehe), I just think that Bo has more versatility and flair compared to his co-finalist. He totally rocked the past two weeks, especially during last week's show. While Carrie was scared out of her wits and thought it was the end for her. In fairness, Baby V was also good last week.

Win or no win, Bo will definitely make a name in the music industry just like my fave Clay.

**********
A delayed reaction:

I am so happy Uchenna and Joyce won the Amazing Race!

**********
A bizarre dream

I had another strange dream that left me baffled. I was inside a bus sitting beside a guy friend. We were having a pleasant conversation when out of the blue, he suddenly reached for my hand. He didn't say anything; I too didn't utter a single word. We were just there, our fingers entwined. After a few moments, he let go of my hand, stood up and left. And that was it.

Okay, okay ... it's not really a bizarre dream. It only shows how much I long for warmth and affection in my life.

**********
Last summer hirit!

I am off to Camotes Island for our company summer outing this Thursday! Yahooo!!!

**********
One more thing...

If plans push through, I might be going back to the Land of the Rising Sun very soon.

Love is in the air?

2005-05-09T22:02:00.000+08:00

Although I am not really into such thing as horoscope, the one that Friendster has been providing has caught my attention these past couple of weeks. Who wouldn't be when almost everyday my sign talks about love and romance coming my way.

Really? From where?

From an ex-boyfriend who called and asked how I was doing after hearing the news that I was back from Japan for good? Duh, a married man with 2 children ... I don't think so.

Maybe, from a college barkada who wanted me to know that he likes me even if he is currently in a relationship. When asked what's the use of telling me such a thing? "Wala lang para next time na magkita tayo alam mo na that I like you not only as a friend." Huh?!?!

Or is it this someone who's obviously sooo not into me but who has been making me wear this silly grin like a lovestruck high school girl?

Well, from wherever direction it might be coming from, it may be sooner or later, I just hope that this time around he will be the one.

From one beach to another...

2005-04-30T21:44:00.000+08:00

"You look like Koreans who got fried under the sun," a friend said when he saw me and my friend Krish together. After spending 4 days and 3 nights in Boracay, I am now an adopted member of the aetas community of the Guimaras Island. Okay okay, it'a not really as dark as you might be imagining, but definitely a few shades darker compared to my skin color 4 weeks ago.

Before last weekend, I have been to Boracay only once; it was back in 2000 when we had our company outing there. Boracay since then has changed a lot. There are more establishments now like Pier One and D'Mall. Even the resort (Boracay Peninsula) where we stayed before looked different; the place was renovated and, now, it has a Korean grill restaurant at the front. Good thing Jonah's shake is still there. I was able to try Choco-peanut-banana and Melon-mango shakes (yum!). Cafe Breizh (where we had our daily breakfast coz it was just right beside the resort where we stayed at) is also still there ... and yes their crepes are still good.

There is just one change I didn't like (there are actually quite a few but I will just mention this one). Compared before, the sea is now crowded with pamboats that you can hardly have a clear view of the horizon that is not obstructed by a big or samll vessel far from or near the beachfront. And by the way, the water near the shore is covered green algae stuff especially near Willy's Resort. Good thing the area in front of BBR didn't have much. [ I am currently looking at some pictures taken during my trip to Boracay 5 years ago; the water was definitely clearer and although there are some boats, there's only a handful. I had the beautiful horizon as my background in one of the photos(sorry can't post the pictures ... aside from the reason that it's a hard copy and scanning the pictures will take time, I really do not look good in them so it would be better not to post the pictures)].

But despite all these, I still enjoyed my stay in Boracay with my family. It warmed my heart to see them having fun basking under the sun. A big hole in the pocket it might have been, I am really glad pushed through with my plans. Quality time with the family .... priceless!

pics to follow ...

kinason, peristalsis, yellow-shorts-guy, tricycad race, torn hammock, etc.

2005-04-14T12:35:00.000+08:00

My first weekend in Cebu can be summarized in 5 words: amazing beach (that's 2!), nonstop eating and laughing (that's 3 excluding the particle "and").

It is indeed great to be back!

Bantayan Island -- a small island north of Cebu
(a 2.5-hour car ride and 1.5-hour ferry ride away from the city)

"geronee, where's the monkey?"

Welcome, little one!

2005-04-11T22:54:00.000+08:00

My dear friend Chary just gave birth to a bouncing baby boy this morning. We went to the hospital earlier to see her and the new baby.

First stop was the nursery. I couldn't stop my tears from welling up in my eyes as I watched this little bundle closing and opening his eyes, and silently observing the many (blurry) faces in awe behind the glass pane. "What are you silly grown-ups doing? Rousing me from my deep slumber just to take pictures..." -- if only babies could talk, we probably would have heard those words from baby JC. :D

As for Chary, she had a CS; she looked like she's in a lot of pain. One slight movement can cause pain that she was even advised not to do so much talking. (And for people who knows her, Chary not talking is quite unimaginable... hehe) Although we tried very hard not to cause additional pain, the playful and mischievous part in each one of us just couldn't stop ourselves from telling jokes and making her laugh that ~~Dave had to shoo us out of the room~~ we opted to leave before we cause any harm to the new mother.

To Dave and Chary -- Congratulations on your new little bundle of joy!!!

To James Colin A. Lallave -- Welcome to the world, baby Colin!!!

Baby James Colin

Wear and tear ?

2005-04-05T08:20:00.000+08:00

With limited luggage space (and the thought of having a couple of shoes left in Cebu), I chose not to bring any sandals or office shoes with me last Sunday; but instead, had a pair of sneakers (for gym) and beach sandals (obviously for beach outings -- Bantayan Island this weekend and Boracay in 2 weeks!).

Yesterday morning, I found out that that wasn't a very good idea. As I was preparing for my first day of work in Cebu, I noticed big chunks of dark-colored material were trailing me. How did I get to have mud in my sandals when I haven't used them for ages? -- that was what first entered my mind. But after taking a closer look, I realized that said dark-colored material were not mud but were chunks of the outsole of my sandals which I guess self-destructed after years of being neglected. Deemed unusable, I had to look for another pair and found this dainty little light blue sandals which I used only twice (once for a wedding) before. It wasn't that suitable for a day in the office, but what the heck, it matched my top. However, blame the power of aging, Miss dainty little sandal's straps fell off as I was taking it out of the box; which left me two pairs of sneakers, a hot pink beach sandals and an old rusty slip-on to choose from. Eventhough Mrs. slip-on was in the verge of breaking down (and didn't really fit well with my outfit), it was the most suitable of the three thus got selected for the day.

Later on, I found out that that was not also a very good idea. I should have chosen either the sneakers or the beach sandals instead because Mrs. slip-on wasn't able to endure the heat of Cebu. Its mouth opened wide (insole detached from the outsole) maybe hoping for a drink of water. Good thing the ever dependable Mr. Rugby was around to save the day and made Mrs. slip-on last until I was able to buy a new one in the evening. (I had to endure a mismatched outfit for a day though.)

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Yes, I am back in Cebu. After a day of footwear mishap, yummy meals and apartment hunting, my life in Cebu is starting off well. As for work, I will be starting on a new project with a technology which is totally new for me; meaning the need for double time and overtime is looming ahead. But you won't hear me complain (not right away anyway...hehe) ..... a more challenging work, fun and excitement --- just the things I have been hoping for.

P.S.
And yeah, I will start working out this Thursday at Fitness First. (Yes rish, you win!)

Looking back ... and moving on

2005-04-01T16:35:00.000+08:00

As I was leaving the office last night, eventhough I was in a hurry to catch the last train, I couldn't stop myself from looking back and taking a last glance at my own little space and the area around it where I have spent 4 years of my life.

As I was waiting for the lift, I couldn't stop myself from taking a glimpse of the hallway where I have walked on every working day for the past 4 years.

I couldn't help reminiscing about the good old days --

* the first time I set foot on that floor to meet my sempai* who I think is the greatest sempai ever (dba Krish?)

* the first package I made which I did not only check twice but did it more than five times just to confirm that the package is perfect before copying it to the server (so that when my sempai asks me if he can release the package I created, I can answer back a strong and firm "YES" ... and when he says "Are you sure?", I won't reply "Yes, I think so ... wait, let me check it again") ... on second thought, it was not only for the first package but also for the succeeding ones; although checking was not done as many times later on

* the first boo-boo I committed which caused my sempai a headache (but not enough to make him send me packing ... actually, he never raised his voice at me; he just has this way of making me feel guilty if I have done something stupid)

* the many talks and laughters I shared with the friends I have made during my stay here (it broke my heart to see them cry when we had to say goodbye last night)

* the first time I set eyes on this cute guy with a nice butt (something you don't often see here in Japan) who my friends and I named "Hardy boy" because he belongs to the hardware team (and not because of what you might be thinking)

* the lunches and coffee breaks I took with some friends where we talked about the latest news (mostly about AI recently)

* the time when I accidentally pressed the "Help" button inside the special comfort room which made someone outside ask if I was okay to which I can only shout back "はい、だいじょうぶです！ (Yes, I'm okay!)" (By the way, I forgot to mention that that incident sent some security persons coming to check that area. Well, I was already out of the CR when they arrived so they never knew it was me who caused the minor excitement.)

... and many more wonderful and the note-so-great but enriching memories I gained these last 4 years in Japan.

And as the lift was going down, I couldn't stop my tears from falling. I can't help myself from feeling sad for the life that I was leaving behind. But then, change is the only thing that's constant in this world of ours. I would just have to move on and look forward to the new things ahead. However, the memories of the past will never be forgotten and will always have a special place in my heart.

----
*sempai - boss or mentor

People as mirrors

2005-03-28T14:25:00.000+08:00

With all the farewell parties and gatherings that have been going on these past days, I have gotten a somewhat clear picture of how people see me.

To some, I am the charming Odessa who has this carefree outlook in life. Bubbly, lively, sweet, easygoing, lighthearted and cheerful are some of the adjectives used in describing yours truly. And it warms my heart to hear such words coming from their mouths.

Of course, not all that was said is nice and pleasant. Authoritative, mataray and someone having a strong personality were also used. I do not find these words a bit offensive and hearing them certainly doesn't infuriate me. I know I can be bitchy to some people at times; but it is because that person has done something which I find wrong or annoying. I am a follower of rules and regulations. I do not like other people (especially the Japanese) to find some reasons to dislike me or us Filipinos. And if you happen to do such a thing, I won't hesitate letting you know that.

To others, kinda aloof was their first impression of me. I admit they are right. I am fully aware that I may seem snobbish and unapproachable the first time we meet or first few days/weeks we are together. A friend once told me how afraid she was of me during the time we were still roommates. She found me strict and cold. (I want to reason out and say it's just because I was used to not having a roommate that I had a hard time adjusting to my new situation. I know it's not a valid reason; so, I just want to say sorry for being so bitchy before.) But now that we have become good friends, she has come to know me well and now find my antics amusing. She can now even afford to tease me to death.

I know that easygoing and authoritative are two contradicting words. It seems strange to hear these words to describe one person. But as what some of my friends say, I have a split-personality disorder. I can be sweet and charming at one moment and be mataray and bitchy the next. Well, that's mood swings bebe.

What I can assure you though is that once we have become good friends, you will come to realize that I'm a sweet, generous, protective and loving friend who you can count on. (Some people can vouch for that.)

Solemn post for the holy week

2005-03-27T00:43:00.000+08:00

Some people may think that the main reason why I will be going home for good is because I am hoping to meet THE ONE soon (and finding him in Japan is very unlikely) since I will be turning 29 this year. I can't blame them for thinking that way because that's what I have been telling people. Although partly true, it's not something that I will place all my efforts on. And it would certainly not despair me if ever I do not find THE ONE.

Well, the thought of being single forever used to scare me to bits. The idea of not having someone to spend my lifetime with used to horrify me. The word single-blessedness used to be appalling. However, this way of thinking changed after a retreat I attended a couple of years back. In one of the sessions, we were asked to close our eyes and imagine ourselves inside a room with someone knocking at the door. We were asked to open the door and let that someone in. When I opened the door, there was this beautiful Being who held my hand, asked me to sit down with Him and said to me in the most gentle voice I have heard:

"I know you have been asking Me to send you your special someone for a while now. It must quite frustrating having to wait such a long time. And it might sound selfish but for now I want to have you for Myself first. I would like you to know what a wonderful person you are. I would like you to feel how much I love you. I hope that's okay with you..."

After hearing that, I came to realize that He needs me to know how special I am. For how I can I love another person if I haven't loved myself first.

After hearing that, it brought me to thinking why He hasn't allowed me to meet THE ONE yet. He first wants to have a strong relationship with me before I start having one with some other guy. For He knows that once I get involved with someone else, the little bond we have will weaken; and I will just be neglecting Him in the end.

After hearing that, it dawned to me how shallow and small-minded I have been. Here's this Someone who loves me unconditionally but who I have been ignoring. I couldn't help say to myself -- why have I been searching and waiting for a man who will care for me when there is this Someone who already loves and accepts me for who I am?

DDY (dadating din yun) ... a friend told me. In His time, I may meet THE ONE. But if THE ONE will not come, then I guess He hasn't found someone who's worthy of my love and attention. Or maybe, He is having too much fun with our relationship? Or maybe, He thinks that in being single, I can love and devote my life not only to one person but to a lot of people who seek for my love and attention.

And knowing that, single-blessedness doesn't seem sad and scary at all.

Alive & kicking

2005-03-23T22:35:00.000+08:00

I am still here (hi cil!). I know it has been days since my last entry. With less than two weeks left before I leave Japan, the past few days have been crazy; staying awake until the wee hours of the morning (read: 4AM or later). First it was due to the packing marathon which I thankfully finished before the pick-up guy arrived last Saturday. Then, in preparation for Sunday's party, I together with some friends (thank you for all the help girls!), had to stay up and prepare the food to be served the following day. Come Sunday, well, it was drinking and dancing until I was too buzzed to shake my booty. Monday was for cleaning up Sunday's mess. As for last night, I was zonked out by 10PM. Don't make me start with my daytime activities, I will just bore you to death. Instead, here are some photos from the mini-party.

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AI! (This is for you Muckdog and other fanatics.)

This week's show was awesome. Using Randy dawg's words, it went like a bomb. Except for one or two finalists, they were at their best.

Best guy performance: Nikko Smith
Best girl performance: Jessica Sierra

Amazing! I couldn't stop myself from clapping and cheering after watching both performances -- good song choice; perfect for the kind of voice they have. Both performances gave me goosebumps.

Well, Carrie came a close second to Jessica; while Vonzell was not far behind. As for the guys, I think Nikko was ahead of the others by a mile. Even Bo and Anwar (my other two favorites) didn't do as good as Nikko.

My bottom three -- Mikalah, Nadia and ... (hhmmmm, hard to pick the third one) Anthony or Constantine perhaps?

The person who needs to leave this week -- definitely Mikalah!

Just my two cents.

Chocolates, cookies, cakes & other sweets ... heaven!

2005-03-16T00:10:00.000+08:00

Look at what was waiting for me in the office yesterday morning... my WHITE DAY goodies!!!

Yummyyy!

(I was not able to go to the office last Monday because I was not feeling well -- making me miss the White day frenzy. Good thing I still got my share of White day sweets. *happy*)

All packed up and ready to go? Uh-uh nowhere close ...

2005-03-15T02:17:00.000+08:00

I have been packing my stuff like crazy these past couple of days. Going to sleep when the sun is up already and still I am nowhere close to emptying my room by Saturday. (We will be having a party at my place this Sunday so I need the boxes to be picked up by then.)

My room is a mess! I can't believe I have accumulated so many things in four years. I already filled up one jumbo box with shoes, books, dvd cases, cds, photo albums, writing pads, disney cans, puzzles, plates, glasses and other abubots. Now, I'm stuffing the second box with clothes. Yet after everything I have done so far, I don't get why everywhere I look there are still gazillion of stuff that need to be packed. Argghhh, it's driving me insane.

But you know what? Amidst all this madness, I did find joy -- happiness after looking at my old pictures which showcased my siopao face and enormous bod; and amusement after trying on my old pants and blouses (OMG! I was an elephant!). Not that I'm bootylicious now, coz really I am far, far away from my goal. As the saying goes, marami pa akong kakaining bigas bago maabot ang gusto ko ... or rather, marami pa akong hindi kakaining bigas ... But hey, I have come a long way baby. 'Diba prends?

what a mess!
----------

And you know who else is not ready to go and leave? Nikko!!! Well, he might have packed his stuff and gone home; but now, my part time lover who's been on my mind this weekend (after watching his performances over and over again) is back to get it on and prove he's worthy to be in the top 12.

For personal reasons we still do not know, Mario has withdrawn from the AI competition. To fill up the 12 spots, Nikko was called back in. I feel sorry for Mario's fans but still ... yhey for Nikko! *happy dance*

I do hope Nikko makes it to the top 4 at least. As to how to make this feat possible, (well besides praying that Nikko gives awesome performances week after week) I am calling out to my dear friends (you know who you are) and readers in the US. Please call and vote for talent ... give Nikko a chance! Of course, don't forget to vote for Anwar and Bo too! :)

Crazy AI fan?

2005-03-10T12:43:00.000+08:00

My friends were laughing at me during lunch break. Why? It's because of how silly I reacted after hearing that Nikko didn't make it to the top 12. I cried and kept on blabbering about Nikko being robbed -- how way better he is vocally compared to Scott, Constantine and even Mario.

Nikko is such a talented guy. His "Part Time Lover" was good. But after hearing him sing Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On, I became his fan. With Georgia on My Mind, I honestly thought he's going to make it to the top 4 together with Anwar, Bo and Carrie. He didn't deserve to be booted out.

Call me crazy ... but I can't help it. I really feel sad. (-_-")

trabaho, lakwatsa, ai atbp.

2005-03-03T02:28:00.000+08:00

Yes, I know I've been slacking off on my blogging duties. I wanted to post something early this week but unfortunately wasn't able to find time to do so.

-----

Work has been keeping me busy since last week especially these past few days. J, my replacement, started reporting to the office last Tuesday; which means that aside from my usual work tasks I now have to allocate time for skill ~~transfer~~ acquisition sessions. And you know what I realized? A career in teaching is a no-no for me. I am pretty sure I was good student back then but when it comes to being a teacher, I suck big time. Just this morning, I found myself jumping from one study item to another, repeating the same steps of a procedure, going back and forth ... it was really frustrating. I can only hope that after a month, J learns the necessary stuff in order for him to survive the first few months. If not ... well, I will be just a YM away anyway.

-----

My family is one AI fanatic. I learned during a chat with my brother that our dear mom is rooting for the sexy Travis Tucker while our dearest baby sister is going gaga over Mario Vazquez. As for him, it's Bo Bice (yhey! same as me) and Carrie Underwood all the way!

Speaking of AI, after this week's show, the guys are unquestionably way, way, way better than the girls this season. In fact, the worst two of the remaining guys are, if not better, as good as the best two of the remaining girls. If it's only possible, I would prefer to see 8 to 10 guys in the top 12. Now, as to who should be voted off the guys group this week ... Constantine and David (or Joe) perhaps?

-----

I had a blast last weekend. Together with some of my officemates from IBM, I went to Inawashiro in Fukushima for skiing. We stayed at this very nice hotel with a very nice pool and an onsen (hot spring).

Here are some pictures taken during our ski trip last weekend.

(from top-left: hotel lobby, yukata girls, x7-11, view from our room)

AI!

2005-02-22T16:35:00.000+08:00

Thanks to my co-fanatic, I have been able to follow and watch American Idol this season (just 2 to 3 days delayed). Hope the episodes keep coming! (^.^)v

Although our kababayan Czar Galvez didn't make it to the finals, this season's AI is one show I'm going to watch 'till they declare who the new American Idol will be. As early as now, I already have a list of contestants who I'm gonna root for. And let me tell you, it was not one easy task. Some of my favorites were cut off but still I can say that this batch is really good! I'm pretty sure the Randy, Paula and Simon had a hard time coming up with the 24 finalists. (Jaclyn Crum, i do hope you'll try again next time. )

My top picks ... (don't you think that there are more good male singers in this batch?)

1) Anwar Robinson -- the lucidity of his voice makes me want to hear more of his singing. *sighhh...*
2) Scott Savol -- such great voice coming from this guy leaves me in awe (as the saying goes ... "don't judge a book by its cover")
3) Bo Bice -- he might not be as good looking as Constantine (who I also like), but he certainly has better pipes than his co-rocker (definitely not "like somebody who should be singing on a cruise ship").

Although he didn't have that much exposure in the past episodes, I think Joseph Murena has a good shot at winning this competition. Have you heard him sing? Not pitchy at all dawg! As for Mario Vazquez, he has the looks and talent to be an AI but I think he's too cocky.

Well, for the gals, there are a few who made good impression. First, there's Vonzell Solomon, a girl with a great voice but who's modest and unassuming. I find her pretty nice. Also, there's Sarah Mather who's got not only a mesmerizing face but has a fascinating voice as well. And then there's Mikalah Gordon who reminds me of a young Barbra Streisand. She has the voice that goes well with her bubbly personality. As for Carrie Underwood, well, she also has a big chance of joining the ranks of Kelly Clarkson, Reuben Studdard (although i personally prefer Clay Aiken) and Fantasia.

Still, I haven't heard the others do their thing; it won't be fair if I will not give them a chance to prove themselves. (feeling judge naman ako ... hehehe) So, I guess this list may change or be updated as the show goes on.

Odessa out!

P.S.
Aargghhh ... the image of Mary Roach doing her version of "I feel the earth move" still pops up my mind every now and then.

I feel the earth move under my feet
I feel the sky tumbling down, tumbling down
I feel my heart start to trembling
Whenever you're around

Ooh, baby, when I see your face
Mellow as the month of May
Oh, darling, I can't stand it
When you look at me that way

Itsy bitsy, teeny weeny ....

2005-02-21T13:52:00.000+08:00

I had the most bizarre dream the other night. I was back in Pinas, specifically in Boracay with my family and some friends (a mixture from high school, college and work). We were there to enjoy the summer breeze (which is actually what I plan to do this coming May). At one point, I found myself by the shore, slowly (yes, it was in slow motion) removing this sarong I was wearing ... and lo and behold, I was donned in this teeny weeny string bikini; and guess what (here comes the strange part) ... I actually looked good, no make that pretty hot just like those girls in Victoria's Secret. Weird ne?

Now, how to turn this dream into a reality? *think ... ok, and act on it*
(or is this where the phrase "only in my dreams" perfectly applies ... bwehehehe :D )

----------

"Fear can hold you prisoner, hope can set you free." - Andy Dufresne, The Shawshank Redemption (one of my favorite movies)

ski adventure

2005-02-19T18:55:00.000+08:00

recap:

* "V ... V ... V..." *

* "brake ... brake... brake ... STOP! STOP!" *

* "... HELP! i can't stand up!" *

* "... kaya mo yan (you can do it!)" *

* going down the lift ... splat! ... gapang (crawl) ... "hayaku, hayaku! (bilis, bilis!)" *

* "sh*t .. sh*t .. sh*t .. i can't stop. get out of the way..." shwapak! *

* "do you know where my bonnet is?" *

ski area

my fellow adventurers
*some of these guys were first timers but i was pretty amazed how fast they were able to learn the sport (so unlike me)*

moi!
*the decent and pretty ones*
(sorry, you won't see pictures of me on my butt here)

Valentine's day in JP

2005-02-13T23:54:00.000+08:00

Yes, the chocolates in the photo are mine; but no, they are not mine to consume. These chocolates are mine to give. For those who still do not know, Japan has this practice during Valentine's day which is a bit different from ours.

In Japan, where a girl proposing to a guy she likes is a common occurrence , Valentine's day is the perfect time for a girl to let a guy know (or maybe just give a hint) that she is interested in him by giving him chocolates.

But wait a minute ... before you go thinking I have the hots for some guy, let me say that giving chocolates to male co-workers, guy friends and other people in your life that you are grateful to is also part of this Valentine's day practice (which is actually similar to ours). So, the goodies in the photo are for my boss, my co-workers and my friends who have made life in Japan less lonelier and more fun ... just my simple way of saying thanks!

Happy Hearts Day to all !!!

P.S.
White Day (March 14) -- the time when it's the guys turn to give chocolates, cookies, flowers and other gifts to the women in their life.

Winter wonderland

2005-02-09T12:06:00.000+08:00

winter01 Originally uploaded by odette776.

I am off to go skiing at Nagano tomorrow evening (this Friday is a holiday here in Japan). It will be the first time for me this year; but my fifth or sixth time since I first tried it back in 2002.

I remember the first time I put my skis on, I could hardly stand up. And if I did manage to, I would fall back on my butt after taking two to three steps. I can not count the number of times I fell and roll down the snow with my poles and skis flying in all direction. Not to mention the bruises and ache I got after the numerous fall ... ahhh the pain, but it was all worth it. (Right Krishie?)

Well, after the third or fourth ski trip, I was able to learn a few things. I can now glide down on a beginner's course without taking a fall. But on an intermediate course, you'll still see my butt (or sometimes face) on the ground from time to time. As for the expert level, I won't dare try it in this lifetime. :D

I am so excited, I can't wait! (Cough and colds can't stop me from going.)

The Valentine's Pact

2005-02-08T15:14:00.000+08:00

February --- the love month. It's the month when the town is painted red (literally); we see red in different shades where ever we go. It is also the month that Petals Galore, Holland Tulips, Bloom Central and even manang's flower shop in Carbon especially like. Prices of flowers skyrocket as the 14th draws near that one has to pay more than twice of what the flowers are worth during an ordinary day.

Honestly, I do not have a fond Valentine's memory. I had a funny one though. It was during my last year in college. Just a month away from the finals, a group of my batchmates rented an apartment where we could stay and make our projects. In the early morning of the 14th, I was awoken by my groupmate saying that there's somebody looking for me downstairs. So, still in sleeplike state, I went down and, lo and behold, a bunch of roses wrapped in an old newspaper was shove into my hands. I think he just came from the market where he bought the flowers because the next thing I noticed was one of my fingers was starting to bleed. Yes, the flowers came in their purest form minus the plant pot. (Nothing happened with that guy; but it was not because of the flowers incident.)

On the night of Valentine's day last year, I was sitting beside one of my fabulous friends on a bus going to Nagano for a ski trip. During the long trip, we talked about life, past relationships, and the fact we haven't had a real valentine for years. [Despite being (I think) the good catch that we are, the fact that we are still single and unattached leaves me somewhat befuddled.] So, then and there, we made a pact -- that on this day next year, we won't be sitting beside each other and will be with someone special. Next year is already here and the 14th is just few days away. I can surely say we will not be sitting beside each other since she is in Cebu right now. And for that someone special? Hhhmm, given that it's only six days away, I doubt if there would be one. Well, I hope she will have more luck than me. If not, there will always be next year ... my dear fabulous friend(s).

Happiness

2005-02-06T21:42:00.001+08:00

"Huh?!?! You got yours already ... but I haven't received mine yet."

Actually, it was already delivered yesterday. But I totally forgot that I addressed mine to a friend's room (thinking I would be back in the Philippines by the time it would be out).

"Wait ... I need to be alone."

So, there I was on my bed ... said a short prayer and ...

合格 (PASSED)

"Aahhhh..." I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I honestly had to read what was written a couple of times before it sunk in. That was 3 hours ago. Since then I have been smiling from ear to ear (and shedding tears from time to time). Yes, I passed the exam! My efforts have paid off. I feel so blessed. My prayers were heard and I am so grateful. I am filled with so much joy that it's bursting out of me. If you could only see me at this very moment. Sheer happiness is written all over my face.

*My (semi) goals in life ... so far so good.

Words of wisdom

2005-02-03T16:22:00.000+08:00

"If God brings you to it , He will bring you through it."

"Lord I love You and I need You, come into my heart, today.
For without You I can do nothing."

(Thanks for the mail Krishie.)

lagi na lang ako ...

2005-02-02T20:01:00.000+08:00

... ako... ako ...

puro na lang ako.

sa math ako...

sa spelling ako...

ngayon, ako ulit.

I know that your photos have been plastered all over your Auntie ninang's blog. She can't help it eh. She loves you that much. I can't wait to see you again luluk.

Politically ignorant

2005-01-30T22:04:00.000+08:00

I just realized how ignorant I am when it comes to politics. I do read the news online almost everday. But after scanning the headlines and finding nothing that interest me, (as hard as it is for me to admit this) I directly go to the juicy entertainment section. Being the health-freak (read as obsessed with losing weight) I have turned into, I even spend more time in the Health and Fitness section. (Yeah I know I should be ashamed of myself (-_-").

So, what brought up this realization? I just finished watching Fahrenheit 9/11 this evening; and guess what I found out? There is no strong and valid reason for US to attack Iraq! (ano? ngayon mo lang yan nalaman?) Well, I thought that the reasons for going to war with Iraq are because they're responsible for the 9/11 tragedy (hiding the Al qaedas) and that Iraq has in possession weapons of mass destruction (WMD). With the 9/11 tragedy reason, I now know it isn't right. (sorry for my ignorance.) As for the other reason (which I know was the stated reason given by US government), where the hell are these Iraq WMDs? No findings of such thing have been confirmed. After all, they said the WMDs existed in large quantities, they should not be hard to find right? And now I read that US is giving up the search for Iraq WMD. WTF!

No direct link to Al qaeda ... no finding of Iraq weapons of mass destruction ... so what's the Iraq War all about? Greed. It's about some people who want to have all the power and money they could get at the expense of other people ... Iraqi families whose homes have been destroyed, innocent children who haven't caused anyone harm, young men and women who were tricked into thinking they are fighting for a good cause, and other thousands of lives lost in this meaningless war.

What I can not understand is the fact that he won the recent election; which means there is still quite a number of people who think he is deserving of a second term. I guess I'm not the only one who is politically ignorant.

**I know this is a very delayed reaction, I just needed to let it out of my system. I guess from now on I should be more aware of what's going on in my country and around the world ... so, what's the deal with this VAT increase huh?**

Acting my age

2005-01-28T12:18:00.000+08:00

I just tried this test (What Age Do You Act?) which my friend posted in the Friendster bulletin board. And guess what? The result says that I do act my age. Can you believe that? I can hardly believe it myself. :D

You Are 28 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Let it snow, let it snow

2005-01-24T13:52:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I had my first taste of snow for the year. It was so freezing cold you would want to snuggle up with somebody. But since I didn't have that option, I had to settle with the next best thing .... EAT !!! :D

@Outback - (2nd) farewell party for a good friend
(good kasi he's very generous in giving compliments :D)
Bon voyage!

As a woman, is being successful a bad thing?

2005-01-21T13:21:00.000+08:00

"Sino pa ang lalapit na lalaki sa'yo n'yan? Ang hirap mo na abutin..."

... was what a friend said after telling her that I'm thinking of getting a place of my own (just a small one) when I go home. What?!?! Actually, it wasn't just her who reacted in that manner. Another one said that if I'll have my own house, it's either no guy will approach me or if there is one, must be someone who wants to take advantage of what I have. Now that's not so nice. Borrowing a line from Miranda Hobbes,

"So I'm being punished for being successful."

Not that I'm successful (coz I am far from being one); it's just not fair when a woman needs to appear weak and in dire need to be rescued just to get a man. I just want to enjoy what I have worked hard for ... that isn't a crime right? (And I think it's the practical thing to do. Instead of paying a monthly rent, why not pay a monthly due for a house to own.)

They say that men don't want a woman who's too strong and self-sufficient. Buying your own place means you don't need a man. (I think it was Carrie who said that.)

-----

"When single men have money, it's their advantage. But if a single woman has money, it's a problem to be dealt with. It's ridiculous. I want to enjoy my success, not apologize for it." - Miranda Hobbes, SATC

As good as new!

2005-01-19T12:53:00.001+08:00

My ThinkPad is back! *happy dance*

In less than a week, my notebook is now as good as new. They needed to change the planar (motherboard). And mind you, I didn't pay a cent (even for the pick-up and delivery)! That's what you call service! Well, actually, it's a good thing my notebook is still within the warranty. Else, I can't imagine how much I would be paying for the repair ... might as well buy a new one perhaps (which I really couldn't afford).

*sigh* I wonder if service will still be as good after the change.

That's very kind of you!

2005-01-18T13:15:00.000+08:00

What is better than going home for the holidays? It is going home, seeing family and friends you haven't seen for months and hearing praises such as "You look great!" coming out from their mouths. :)

It's amazing what a loss of ten pounds can do. Upon seeing me for the first time last December, my dear lola said "Ka-gwapa ba sa akong apo. Ayaw na patambok ha, ayaw na pud paniwang. Sakto na kana. ( ..... Try not to gain or lose any more weight. That's enough.)" Although I obviously need to lose more weight, it was really sweet of my lola to say those words.

Well, here are some of the kind (and kinda vague) words I received:

"Taga-kita nato nagkadaot man ka dess. Unsa man imo gihimo? (You're getting slimmer every time we meet. What did you do?)" -- no rice for more than a month?

"Murag nigamay lagi ka Dess. (It seems you lost weight.)" -- yeah, he was not that sure

"Now I can clearly see the Lea in you." -- you are indeed a good friend Krishie :D

"Dess, unsa imo gihimo? Naa naman ka figure karon. (What did you do? You have a figure now.)" -- huh ?!?! was I just a lump of matter before?

The down side ... I have gained back most of the pounds I lost before the holidays. But that's okay; I still have more than 2 months left before going home for good. That's enough preparation time ... and then it's back to "Thank you! What a nice thing to say!" while giving out my sunniest smile. :)

Dating vs. Courtship

2005-01-17T13:50:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine has been courting this girl since forever and until now, he still doesn't know where he stands. In one dire moment, he (finally) thought of giving up and that he had done enough waiting for nothing.

This led me to thinking "in courtship, how long is too long?"

During my teenage years, (being a Filipina) saying "YES" to a suitor right away is a no-no. If I remember it correctly, I waited for 4 months before saying yes to my first boyfriend. Besides the reason I wanted to make sure of his feelings, I really didn't want to be uncomfortable when answering the question "Gaano katagal ka nya niligawan?". Yes dear, it was a big deal back then. (To think, for a long time my lolo had to "igib" water and "biak" wood for lola during their time.)

I am not sure if today's society has too much of Sex and the City; undeniably, the realm of courting has changed. There is less of it and there is more of dating. As what Parokya ni Edgar said, uso pa ba ang harana?

Which leads me to another question ... dating and courting: what's the difference between the two?

Although often used in a synonymous manner, dating and courting are two different concepts. Dating is about meeting someone and having fun. Although considered to be a casual relationship, holding hands and kissing are acceptable. (Sometimes, there's even more.) They say a couple who is only dating doesn't have marriage in mind. They just go on dating without making clear to each other where the relationship is heading.

On the other hand, courting is more about getting to know someone better and discovering if they are compatible for marriage. A couple usually begins as friends and then leads to talks about dreams, beliefs, family, etc. A friend of mine said that in a courtship, the intentions of the guy are made clear. And in a book she read, one of the advices is not to date and court if a person is not ready to face the altar.

With the last one, it was more of going out and saying yes when asked to give a relationship a try because it just felt right. Well, maybe it wasn't casual dating because we were friends before it started. I am in my late 20s now and definitely my way of thinking has changed. I won't deny the fact that a cloud called marriage is looming over my head. (Yaiikkss ... now that should scare guys away.) Yes, I can go out on a date and have fun; but if that date leads to a string of dates and more, I would prefer to know what we are doing and where we are heading before the 50th date coz waiting for nothing is something I don't have time for.

(By the way, my friend has not given up ... that's 2 years of waiting for you. I guess that's how much he loves the girl.)

Rapport

2005-01-13T13:26:00.000+08:00

During my vacation, I was able to watch few episodes of this Korean drama my mother and sister are religiously following. The drama tells the story of a well-to-do guy and a not-so-fortunate girl falling in love. In the episodes I watched, the girl was desperately trying to get on the good side of the guy's family. Not being in the same class with them, the guy's family doesn't approve of their relationship; and they are not ashamed to let her know that. Being, I guess, the good person she is, she endures all the awful and humiliating remarks and goes on with her attempt to win the family's nod. There was a point when I wanted to grab her by the shoulders, shake her senseless and tell her to stop being sooo pathetic. She doesn't need their approval, even her fiance said so.

I can't help but ask ... how important is it to get along with the family of your other half?

My brother has a girlfriend my family is not that fond of (especially my Pop). They've been together for more than 4 years, yet until now Papa shakes his head every time her name is mentioned in the household. I can even count on one hand the number of times she has visited our home. When I asked my brother about it, he said she is too afraid of Papa and opts to avoid an audience with our family. (Papa did give her the look the last time she was there.) And unlike the girl in the Korean drama, she has never attempted to get on the good side of our family.

My family is very important to me. If I have the option, I would like my next gentleman friend to get along with my family; as much as I would like to have a good rapport with his.

I'm back!

2005-01-12T18:14:00.000+08:00

It's the 12th day of year 2005 ... a year which I hope and pray would be better than the last one. With all the tragedies and calamities, 2004 was indeed a tough year.

I am back in Japan. Actually, I've been here since Friday last week. I was planning to post my first entry over the long weekend; but unfortunately, my precious ThinkPad got damage during my trip back here. No it was not the airline's fault. It was all due to my negligence (a.k.a. stupidity). But who would have thought that Mr. Absolute H2O would pour out of the bottle and into the other contents of my knapsack during the long flight? Obviously not me! Anyway, I am hoping the damage is not that severe. I already called the service center and they will be picking up my machine tomorrow afternoon. Sana, I'll get it back in a week.

So, how was my vacation? Besides being a food-filling one, it was wonderful!

Happy holidays!

2004-12-22T01:48:00.000+08:00

In less than 12 hours, I am off to Pinas for the Christmas season. I may not be able to blog for two weeks; so let me greet everyone in advance a

Merry, merry Christmas

and a

happy, happy New Year !!!

May this magical season smile upon you and bring you love, laughter and special memories.

-----

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

* Free your heart from hatred.
* Free your mind from worries.
* Live simply.
* Give more.
* Expect less.

Gift giving

2004-12-21T11:11:00.000+08:00

I was out with a guy friend last Saturday. He wanted to meet up before the year ends. Being Christmas and all, I naturally had a gift for him. What he said after handing over my gift kinda left me wondering.

"Ang sweet mo naman ... swerte ng magiging boyfriend mo."

Is gift giving on Christmas considered a "sweet" deed? I mean ... isn't it just a normal thing to do?

I have always considered the giving of gifts as one of the highlights of the Christmas season. It is not because I am looking forward to the stuff I will be receiving. On the contrary, I honestly don't mind not getting one at all. As the cliche goes, "It is better to give than to receive" ... and I do believe in that.

I find pleasure in making a gift list. Looking for stuff my family and friends would like to have gives me the thrill. Seeing the delighted faces upon receiving and opening their gift makes me feel glad that I have the capability to make someone happy.

A gift signifies the love you have for a person. It shows how grateful you are to this someone for coming into your life. And no matter how small your gift is ... it's the thought that matters most. So this Christmas season, find it in you heart to give a little love.

Of course, let us not forget the greatest gift that has been given to us ... Jesus Christ. Because of His great love for us, He has sent His only Son to save us from our sins and show us the promise of eternal life.

-----

"Ang wish ko na lang ay sana matagpuan mo na yung taong para sa'yo." -- a friend said this as a way of saying thanks for my gift to him. And it was all I needed.

Grudges

2004-12-20T22:55:00.000+08:00

I admit it takes time for me to calm down. But I am not the type who keeps grudges. Anyway, I am glad that we are okay now. Although, we still need to have a talk about it.

"Pride does get in the way of ironing out what could be settled, but differences should be given enough time--time measured carefully, not too much time that you get used to being apart, but not too little time that the wound is still too fresh."

Journey

2004-12-14T15:47:00.000+08:00

Single friends finally finding love.

Engaged friends planning their weddings.

Married friends expecting their first born.

I can't help but wonder, where am I in this journey called life?

Then, I read this wonderful post from a wonderful blog I have been reading for quite a while.

"...have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." -- Letters to a Young Poet

What more can I say? \(^.^)/

Yipeee!

2004-12-10T13:40:00.000+08:00

We often hear people say that money is just money.

There are more important things in life than the yens tucked away in our wallets or the pesos stored in the banks.

I agree.

Yet, we can't deny the significant effect money has on people.

Just this afternoon, everybody was in a pleasant and lighthearted mood while having lunch.

It's not just because lunch was shouldered by our "kuya" or we will be going to Disney sea tomorrow.

It's for the main reason that today is BONUS day!

*happy dance*

Just venting

2004-12-09T14:38:00.000+08:00

Being a vocal person has put me in situations that I want to forget.

The "feeling" person in me tends to let my emotions take over.

However, seldom do I give in to anger.

Actually, it has been quite a while since the last time I felt such a strong feeling.

But this time around, I couldn't control it anymore.

Call me child-like.

I don't care.

Na-iinis ako.

(And I do not like the feeling ... it makes me sad.)

Sigh

2004-12-06T13:51:00.000+08:00

Please don't ask me.

I don't want to talk about it.

...

...

...

All right, I think I didn't do that well to assure me of a passing score. The exam was just so hard for me. The allotted time was not enough for me to finish the exam. So in the end, I had to do a "Eenee, Meenee, Mainee, Mo!" in more than 30 test items. And we all know that doesn't sound good!

Results will be out mid-February next year. That's 2 months of waiting ... brooding ... pondering ... hoping ... and praying that things will turn out well.

力の限り、頑張りました！

-----

(Not-so-) Crazy things I have thought and done for a miracle to happen:

1) Nagsindi ng kandila sa simbahan. (It has been quite a while since the last time I lit a candle besides the ones found in cakes.)

2) Promise to attend mass every Sunday this month of December. (December na lang muna... wouldn't want to make promises I couldn't keep.)

3) Promise to donate a month's worth of the Nihongo incentive to a good cause.

Anxiety

2004-12-03T14:43:00.000+08:00

A cold feeling through my body.

A pounding heart.

A weakness in my arms.

A pain in my neck and lower back.

An upset stomach.

I think I'm having panic attacks!
(God help me ... I am losing control.)

My Wish List

2004-12-02T12:45:00.000+08:00

Since Christmas is just around the corner, here's the list of things I would love to have in this season of giving. (In case dear Santa [a.k.a. my smart and good-looking friends] happens to read this blog. *wishful thinking* :D )

* CSI dvds (seasons 2 and 4)
* Battery for my Sony P10
* To the Nines by Janet Evanovich (paperback)
* Sex and the City Season 6
* The Opposite of Fate: A Book of Musings by Amy Tan
* Middlesex: A Novel by Jeffrey Eugenides
* Back to the Future - The Complete Trilogy (Widesreen Edition)
* Looney Tunes - Golden Collection
* Gift certificate to a spa
* Creative NOMAD MuVo Armband
* Clothes (shirts, blouses, pants, etc.)
* A nice bag (Gucci, Coach, RL, etc.) -- mas hehehe :D
* A new car -- pinaka hehehe :D
* ...

On second thought, I wouldn't mind not getting a thing this year for I have been so much blessed already with a loving family, wonderful friends, a good job, and this and that. But if you insist, you can choose a thing or two from the list below:

* a prayer for my upcoming JLPT exam
* a contribution to the Gawad-Kalinga
* another prayer for my GG (hihihi)
* a heartfelt "Merry Christmas"
* a warm hug
* ... (surprise me!)

-----

How about you? What do you want this Christmas? Me and Santa are good buddies you know ... might hand your list to him. *wink*

(My) Life's purpose

2004-11-29T00:20:00.000+08:00

"I'll probably never hold a brush
that paints a masterpiece
Probably never find a pen
that writes a symphony
But if I will love then I will find
That I have touched another life
And that's something
Something worth leaving behind"

--Something worth leaving behind--Lee Ann Womack

Love is in the air

2004-11-28T00:29:00.000+08:00

... just warming the bench.
autumn14 Originally uploaded by odette776.

A date with myself ...

2004-11-24T00:14:00.000+08:00

... and my Nihongo study materials.

In my desperate (hopefully not futile) attempt to pass the JLPT (which is less than 2 weeks away), I am spending a non-working holiday (勤労感謝の日 - Thanksgiving Day) at Starbucks-Fujisawa (for the reason that I can't seem to make myself study at my own place with DVDs and internet within my reach) alone.

Yes my dear friends ... ALONE (as in 一人で). To those who know me well, they may find that inconceivable. For the sole reason that I am not the type of person who goes out and does things alone. (Of course, not counting the times when I do my grocery shopping and the likes.) In my 28 years of existence, I haven't been to a movie companionless. I could count on one hand the number of times I have eaten a meal outside my home and workplace all alone. (I even haven't tried eating at the office cafeteria all by myself.) Call me a freakazoid or something, but I rather be hungry than dine by my lonesome. I remember this one time when I bought a 1500yen book just to have a 600yen KFC meal. I had to go to a place in Yokohama (a 30-minute train ride from my place) to buy something; haven't eaten the entire morning, my stomach was churning around four in the afternoon. Between the possibility of collapsing on my way home and eating alone, I had no choice but to grab a meal at a nearby KFC. But before doing that, I dropped by a bookstore and bought a book to a accompany me during my meal.

Anyway, I am in my second hour of studying ... just taking a break now, writing something for my blog (really wanted to add "... on a piece of table napkin" so as to make it writer-like; but since I am studying, I have a pad of paper with me). An hour or two more perhaps then I'll head back to my place.

--jotted down @ 11-23-2004, 7:19pm

-----

People watching:

* I think the couple sitting next to me are either in their first or second date. Why? Besides the girl being in her giggly and cutesy self, based on snippets of their conversation, they are telling each other what their likes and dislikes are. (Hey! This is a part of the studying. You know ... for the listening portion of the exam. hehehe :D)

* The guy, who's having an orange juice, across me is kinda cute. He is alone. But what's with the two mobile phones? I guess he needs two to keep him busy.

* The two girls sitting two seats away are a bit loud; makes it harder for me to understand what the couple next to me are saying.

* A girl, also alone, sitting next to the 2-phone guy is reading a book on cross-stitching.

(Quite a number of people in here are by their lonesome.)

--jotted down @ 8:22pm

-----

* The 2-phone guy just took the couch next to me after the couple left. He also has a book entitled Rolex Buyer's Guide to keep him occupied. (He's not only cute, he has money too. :D)

--jotted down @ 8:35pm

-----

You know what ... this is not so bad. I might do this again very soon. Besides not having much choice (gurls, missing you a lot talaga), this could be a big step in my journey to self-confidence. (And who knows ... the next cute guy might approach and strike a conversation with me next time around. (^.^)

--jotted down @ 9:35pm

-----

the two noisy girls ... cute guy's head at the left

girl with the book on cross-stitching

calorie-intake (@_@)

Breaking-up

2004-11-19T01:55:00.000+08:00

After reading Simmer's comment on one of Kat's post, I suddenly felt the urge to write something about breaking-up.

When you're the receiving end of a break-up, would you prefer hearing a white lie as an excuse or would you rather hear the painful truth?

"I just need time to reassess my life."
"I just realized that I am not ready for a commitment."
"It's not you .. . it's me. I am really confused right now. I need to be alone to think."
"Work has been hell. I could not give you the attention you deserve."

These are just some examples of white lies. Most "breakers" think saying a white lie is the better way in breaking-up with someone. It would be less painful. (Do they really have the other party's feeling in mind? Or they just want to appear less cruel and heartless?)

I believe that a white lie can be more damaging. It makes moving on harder to do. It makes a person think that there is still hope; that there is still a chance ...

... after taking his time and is done with his reassessing.
... when he is ready for a commitment.
... once he is less busy with work.

So, the person keeps on waiting and hoping; only to find out in the end that there is really nothing there to wait for. Thus, a white lie causes more pain in the long run.

A hard truth is painful. It can break one's heart into pieces. It can cause buckets of tears to fall. It can be devastating. But knowing that it is really over, after all the mourning, there's nothing left for the person to do but wipe out the tears, pick up the pieces, learn from the experience and move on. And yes, it does make a person stronger.

(Kat, I'll post a part of the song din ha :)

...all i ask is just a little honesty
though i know that you're not coming back to me
you know i'll do anything to make you stay
but i just have to let you go
if the feeling is gone...

-----

You want to know the lamest excuse I've heard so far?

*cough* "I am really sick and don't have that many years left to live. I couldn't let you be a part of this. It wouldn't be fair to you. So, I must let you go." *cough*

(That is from someone who got married two years later.)

If only ..., but then ...

2004-11-17T01:51:00.000+08:00

Don't you sometimes wish you can go back in time and correct a few things that happened in your life?

Or maybe wish that some events didn't happen at all?

But then again, such experiences make you grow wiser and stronger emotionally and spiritually.

And wishing them away, would just leave you a dull and boring life to live with.

You do prefer a life less ordinary, right?

(But you know what you can do? If it's possible, try to correct what you have done in the past right now. Try to patch up things. Reconnect. Apologize. It would make you feel better for sure.)

To the one constant man in my life

2004-11-15T00:32:00.000+08:00

Back when I was still in school, my papa used to constantly reprimand us, his children, for being lazy with our studies. I can still clearly remember his lines,

"You are always watching TV. Have you done your homeworks already? If only I had the comfort and convenience (amenities) you have right now when I was still young, I could be the president of the Philippines now."

Yup, he could have been one. My papa is a smart man with a good heart. His family was not well-off. He is the youngest boy (11th) of 14 children; and with siblings that many, growing up was not that easy for him. For instance, when Lola starts calling them for dinner, one should run to the table as fast as he can; coz dillydallying will leave you with just plain rice to eat. That's just one of the stories my papa has told us of his younger days. He has also told us about how hard it was for him to study. Not only did he go to school on foot and without a notebook/paper in hand (yep, he had to ask from his classmates), he needed to wake-up very early every morning either to fish or farm. But all these didn't stop him from finishing school. Being a smart and hardworking man that he is, he was able to go to a university on a scholarship and was able to get an engineering degree.

My father has provided well for us not just financially but with the emotional and spiritual aspects as well. Though we are not rich, life has been quite easy for us. Our home is filled with lots of love and laughter ... mainly because of this man who has taught us that happiness can be found in simple things as well.

To the one constant man in my life , thanks ...

...for constantly reminding us how much you love us.
...for being a forgiving father.
...for being a generous neighbor to the needy.
...for being our inspiration and spiritual guide.
...for being a good teacher of good Christian values not only to us you kids but to other people as well.
...for being the wonderful man that you are.

Happy birthday Pappie!

I love you.

A new look

2004-11-13T02:45:00.000+08:00

Got a new look for my blog. Isn't it pretty nice? I am no expert on html programming. This took many sleepless nights to finish; resulting to quite a number of unflattering pimples on my face and dark circles around my eyes. A not-so-pretty sight indeed.

A new look for a new me? *Pause* ... a new me? Besides this new pesky swelling on my right cheek near my mouth, there's nothing much new with me. Work is still keeping me busy. I am not yet prepared for the upcoming JLPT. I seem to have hit a plateau with my weight loss. (Actually, I am in the verge of gaining what I have lost so far. *waahh* )

And you know what's even more frustrating? It is finding out that after all this time, thoughts of you can still cause an emotional stir within me. These thoughts rarely cross my mind now; but once they do, as much as I hate to admit it, they can still revive the why questions that have kept me awake for countless nights.

... why did you give up? (when what we had just started)
... why was I not good enough for you? (while you are near perfect in my eyes)
... why did it have to end that way? (when things could've been different)

I sound sooo pathetic. Why am I feeling this way again? Is it maybe because of the cold weather that we are having? Or the fact that I feel so alone at the moment? But then again, maybe it's just the hormones speaking.

I really need a change of scenery. As long as I stay here, I will never be able to move on. I need to go to some place where thoughts of you won't haunt me anymore. But who am I kidding? Such a place doesn't exist on earth. For I truly believe that a person can only get over someone completely if he/she has someone new in his/her life. But since I am nowhere near the vicinity of having that someone new, I can only keep my mind occupied so that there will be less, less thoughts of you. And if they do come up, then I guess I just have to deal with them on my own way (stupidly it may be ... just like writing this entry).

For sure, things will be different tomorrow. I will feel okay. I can again honestly reply "I'm good." when asked how I'm doing. I will be fabulous once more. And maybe, a new me will soon follow the new look of this little haven that I own.

Until then ...

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I got myself a new commenting system. Too bad old blogger comments can't be imported.

日本語の勉強　(updated)

2004-11-08T22:59:00.000+08:00

By Drew's request, I have made some updates to my 日本語の勉強 blog.

(Only a month left before the JLPT, yet I still haven't done any serious studying. =( I get to study only during the train rides to/from work. Plus I haven't been attending my classes the past weeks because of my work sked.

Arrgghhh ... paano ako makakapasa nito ... )

Longing

2004-11-04T19:02:00.000+08:00

Living far from home at an early young age, I am used to not seeing my family all the time. Since I was 12, I get to be with them only during long breaks like Christmas and summer vacation. This set-up is just fine with me; I seldom get homesick.

But every year, as Christmas season draws nearer, I always have this sudden intense longing to see and be with them. The usual once a week call would turn into an every day call just talking nonsense.

And today, this longing has started. I need to feel my papa and mama's embrace. I long for lively conversations with my siblings (we are such a noisy bunch). I want to rain kisses on my nephew's chubby cheeks. I can't wait to go home and be surrounded with the warmth of the people I love.

I am missing my family so much that it hurts.

-----

I am so in love with this boy.

Babyluv's first trick or treat
(as a hunchback ... isn't he cute?)

Inspirational

2004-11-02T09:42:00.000+08:00

Here's a very nice read. Got this one from Ricky Lo's column (The Philippine Star).

-----

Life is too short!! Do it now!
Author: Unknown

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven’t thought about it, don’t have it on their schedule, didn’t know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I’ve tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn’t suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word "refrigeration" mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched something on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, "How about going to lunch in a half hour?" She would gasp and stammer, "I can’t. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday; I had a late breakfast. It looks like rain." And my personal favorite: "It’s Monday."

She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because people cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We’ll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Stevie toilet-trained. We’ll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We’ll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for! Our lives is a litany of "I’m going to," "I plan on" and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit."

When anyone calls my "seize the moment" friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes and you’re ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It’s just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you "want to," not something on your "should do" list.

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry-go-round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask, "How are you?," do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie on your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head?

Ever told your child, "We’ll do it tomorrow." And in your haste, not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die?

Just call to say, "Hi!"?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift...thrown away. Life is not a race.

Take it slower! Hear the music before the song is over.

"A time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance," – Ecclesiastes 3:4

Scaredy-cat...

2004-10-31T22:11:00.000+08:00

... I am not. Eventhough horror movies make me shout out loud (till now I can't watch Sixth Sense without covering my eyes during the entire movie), I am not generally afraid of ghosts and the likes. I can sleep alone in a room (I've been doing so since forever). Back in high school, I even used to take showers at midnight in our dormitory bathroom (which is actually one big bathroom with lots of cubicles) because that's the only time you can take one without having to fall in line and wait (and to think there were stories going around about chain dragging and cloth flying). Compared to others, I guess I don't get easily scared of the unnatural stuff.

But you know what I am afraid of?

... I fear the possibility of not being able to have my own baby.

... I am scared of the idea of losing someone dear to me (specifically in a violent way).

... I am afraid of the thought of being at the end of my life and finding out I have not lived a "life" at all.

On the second thought, I do am a scaredy-cat in some ways...

-----

Happy Halloween everyone !!!

Tremors

2004-10-27T14:08:00.000+08:00

The world is getting scarier; especially in this part of the world where I'm currently at. After the consecutive typhoons (and just days after the deadliest one in more than a decade), Japan has been hit by strong earthquakes since Saturday last week. The first one had a magnitude of 6.8 in Niigata prefecture (epicenter), 250 kilometes north of Tokyo. It was followed by two more quakes which were above 5.9 in magnitude. Up to now, aftershocks have been rattling the area almost every hour. (I think more than 300 aftershocks have been recorded so far.)

Japan, sitting atop three restless tectonic plates, is among the world's most earthquake-prone countires. There is even a study that Tokyo is due for a major earthquake within 50 years. The last destructive quake hit Tokyo in 1923 which killed at least 140,000 people. (Am I scaring you already?)

These tremors have caused a bit of a fear/alarm among us friends. Not only the tremors, but because we reside near a beach, tsunamis or tidal waves are also a major concern of ours. For the past two days, one friend of mine has been waking up very early in the morning because of the shaking she felt. (I am not sure if an earthquake did occur or just paranoia.) Just this morning, while in a meeting, I felt a strong shake and for a moment the question "Is this the one?" entered my mind. I checked the net afterwards, a magnitude of 2 was recorded in our area. I couldn't help say to myself ... only a 2.0? It felt more like a 4.0. If that was a 2.0, what would a 6.0, a 7.0 or an 8.0 be like? (When the 7.7 earthquake hit the Philippines back in 1990, I remember myself crying and calling aloud for my mama while going down a flight of stairs from the 3rd floor of our school building in Quezon City.)

When my friends and I get to talk about what's happening, we tend to make light of it so as to calm us down. Asking what prized-possession they will be bringing with them when something happens; one said a cellphone, some replied passport and money, another one said a piece of wood which can help him float (in case of flood), and quite a few answered their notebook pc being their most valuable possession at the moment. (I heard one did bring her notebook outside when the grounds shook last Saturday. =) A friend joked he (not knowing how to swim) will just tie himself to the bed so we won't have a hard time looking for him when a flood occurs. I, myself, told my friends that I will be purchasing a life boat for my DVD collection (and just wanna say sorry in advance if I won't able to let them ride with me =).

But amidst all the chuckles, each one of us knows what is truly in each of our hearts and minds -- it is the longing to be back at home ... 'cause it's times like these when we hope to be with the people who matter to us the most.

SBD rocks !!!

2004-10-20T10:37:00.000+08:00

(I have been meaning to blog about this for a while now but work has prevented me from doing so.)

More than two weeks ago, I have started on a new diet (which I am sure a lot of you have already heard in one way or another) with a friend. It is called the South Beach Diet (SBD). SBD teaches you a new way of eating where you live contentedly without the bad carbohydrates and bad fats. It has 3 phases. In phase1, you are strictly prohibited to eat fruits and food rich in carbo for two weeks. During this phase, food cravings are slowly being eliminated. In phase2, some food banned during the phase 1 (fruits and carbohydrates) are slowly being introduced into your diet. This phase lasts until you reach your goal weight. After this, you can start with phase 3 where you can occasionally enjoy those sinful food. Everything must be done in moderation though.

I am on my third day on phase 2 and I truly believe this is working well for me. Not only because my weighing scale registered a 10-lb difference in just 2 weeks (Yes ... in just 2 weeks!) but also because I can now fit into a number of my "goal" clothes (you know the tops and pants you bought ages ago thinking you'll be able to use them after a month or two). Aside from that some people have told me that I'm looking really good. (Thank you! *flattered*)

Phase 2 is a bit hard since weight loss won't be that big compared with phase 1. A 1 to 2lbs loss a week would be good. It would take quite sometime before I reach my goal but that's better than nothing, right?

You know what is really great about this? A more confident Odessa has been born. \(^.^)/

Life

2004-10-15T09:45:00.000+08:00

I was browsing through my Friendster bulletin board when I came across this answer to a certain survey question which just made me laugh out loud.

29. is someone in-love with u?
--> no one that im aware of... もし誰かがいたら、声をかけて、手をあげてください。。。 (If there is, please raise your hand and let your voice be heard.- a rough translation)

After making a comment on my friend's answer and after all the smirking, I couldn't help but say to myself, if only life was that simple. I can just imagine myself in front of a crowd, casually asking,

"Ei, attention please ... is there someone out there who thinks I am pretty nice and wants to go out with me and see if we mesh well? Just raise your hand please. Oh... there are 3 of you. There is no problem with that. Let's meet after this and try to draw up a sked, okay? Thanks for your time everyone!" (^.^)w

Compared to other girls, I know I am a bit aggressive. (Well, I had handed out unsubtle feelers before.) But when it comes to "serious " love, I become meek and timid (and sometimes stupid). Maybe because I still have this illusion of being a damsel in waiting to be swept off my feet by my prince charming.

-----
10 Reasons to be happy today:

1) Having a good night of sleep.
2) Waking up to a very beautiful morning. (a clear, blue sky .. not a cloud in sight)
3) Heart-felt morning prayer.
4) Early morning jog. (and basking under the warmth of the sun)
5) Healthy and yummy breakfast.
6) Sitting in front of some guy who smelled really nice inside the train.
7) Feeling pretty ~~and~~ good.
8) Minor "crushing" going on. (hihihi ... hisashiburi feeling)
9) Good morning e-mails.
10) Blogging again!

Have a great day and a wonderful weekend ahead! God bless everyone!

"Let us wake at the morning and be filled with Your love
And sing songs of praise all our days
For Your love is as high at the heavens above us
And Your faithfulness as certain as the dawn"

Self-control

2004-10-14T19:04:00.000+08:00

At the SFC retreat I attended last weekend, I finally identified the root cause of my weakness in decision making -- it is the lack of self-control.

If you have been following this blog, you should know by now that there are different areas in my life that I don't have control of. For one, my emotions do sometimes get out hand making me say things which I regret later on. I have addictions that keeps me from getting enough sleep which surely has a great effect on my health (I might not feel anything now, but oh boy when I get old). It's good though that my desire for food has slowly diminished. :)

So, how are decision-making and self-control related?

Being in control of yourself means being able to answer for your actions; it means being responsible for your own decisions or choices in life. And that's precisely the area I am not good at. Thus most of the time, I let the others do the deciding for me; I let someone else take charge. Or I just let nature takes its course.

And this has to stop! Major changes must be done. I badly need to regain control of myself. According to the teachings, here some pointers on how to grow in self- control:

1) Decide for it. (I am decided!)
2) Trust God for it. (I completely trust in You.)
3) Live in an ordered environment. (Decluttering of habitation to follow.)
4) Map out a course of action and pursue it patiently. (Goals ... here I come!)
5) Guard your thoughts. (Tukso layuan mo ako.)
6) Get help. (Friends ... friends ... need your help.)

"I have the strength to face all conditions by the power that Christ gives me." - Philippians 4:13

-----
Did you know that self-control produces confidence and inner strength? Yes, it does. It is also the virtue that makes the other virtues (love, discipline, meekness, zeal, joy, sorrow, faithfulness, patience and perseverance) possible.

Halika, byahe tayo!

2004-10-12T01:45:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine (thanks la!) sent me a link to this super nice video and I just want to share it with you.

Enjoy!

[This video made me cry (hehehe .. iyakin talaga). It made me want to go home and see all the wonderful places in the Philippines.]

秋 (Autumn)

2004-10-07T22:06:00.000+08:00

Of the four seasons, I love autumn the most. The world (at least in this part of the world) becomes more beautiful. The weather is perfect; just cold enough to wear those dark-colored clothes which have a slimming effect. (Well, I am not really into pastel which is associated with spring. As for winter, you get so bundled up that you end up looking twice your actual body size which is really not flattering for someone like me.) The surroundings are filled with rich colors of orange, red, brown and golden yellow. And as the leaves start to fall, the ambience turns mysterious. The atmosphere seems more quiet and tranquil.

For some reason, I tend to associate autumn with love. I truly believe that it's the best season for people in a relationship. Maybe because everything seems magical and romantic during this time of the year.

There's this park in Shinjuku which is so beautiful especially during fall. It has this wide area where you can have a picnic or simply have a seat, relax and enjoy the beauty around. Since the year 2001, I have been going to the park every autumn. It has become one of my favorite places in Japan. There was a time when I thought I would finally have a special someone to enjoy this magical season with. I was looking forward for autumn to come. I couldn't wait to share with him this romantic place. But, way before the maple leaves have turned red (actually is it was still the peak of summer), everything went pfffttt. Nevertheless, I still enjoyed autumn that year; and I intend to enjoy this year's too.

Shinjuku Park

Confession of a TV addict

2004-10-05T00:10:00.000+08:00

I am Odessa ... and I'm a TV (show) addict. I have lost many hours of sleep because of TV shows. First there was Friends; next came Carrie with the girls (SATC) and Will&Grace. Then someone introduced me to Gilmore Girls and Smallville. I won't even deny the fact that I also caught the Dao Ming bug (Meteor Garden). I can still remember the time when I ran after my co-TV addict barefoot outside the apartment at around 3AM because she took one CD in order to make sure I won't watch it without her. It was a riot.:D After that, there was Sydney and the Rambaldi (Alias). And if you have read my previous entry, you should know that I watched CSI nonstop for 9 hours last weekend.

I thought nothing can top that but I was proven wrong when I met Jack Bauer. I started watching the season 2 of 24 yesterday at around 1AM. Just one episode, I said to myself. The next thing I knew it was already 4AM and I was into my 4th episode. I even sent an IM to my friend who was also still up, watching 24 and told her my dilemma. But what can she do? She is also an addict herself. If she lived nearby, we would surely be watching the show together.:D One episode after another, the sun was up and then it was already time to take a bath and prepare for work. After having no sleep for more than 24 hours, here I am, still up and just finished watching another 4 episodes of 24. I am taking a break now only to blog; currently thinking if I should hit the sack ... or just one more episode perhaps ...

NaOH + HCl --> NaCl + H2O

2004-10-03T20:30:00.000+08:00

Of the many science units I took back in high school, I enjoyed Chemistry the most. Biology was a blah. (Actually, I was really bad at memorizing scientific names of plants & animal and their classifications (family, order, class, etc.) Physics was too theoretical with all its theorems and laws. But the world of Chemistry was simply exciting for me; naming of compounds, balancing chemical equations, chemical reactions, etc. In my second year of chemistry (3rd year HS), we had this lesson on identifying compounds in solutions based on their physical properties (color, smell, etc.) and chemical reactions to some tests (like the litmus paper test, addition of other chemicals which may result to a change in color, formation of bubbles, gas release, precipitation or some other reaction). I think I was able to identify only one component of the solution that was given to me during our lab exam; but nevertheless, it was during that time when I decided that I want to take a Chemistry-related course in college. However, I was not able to go for what I wanted. Computers were really hot that time and my father wanted me to take computer engineering instead. Since there was nothing much I can do, that was what I studied in college (even when I was already in my 2nd year of college, both my teachers in Chem1 and Chem2 were still encouraging me to shift to BS Chemistry. :D); and here I am now ... part of the IT world (and can't hardly remember the things I learned in Chemistry).

So, what brought back all these memories? CSI. I fell asleep around 530AM after watching CSI non-stop from 8PM last night. I find the show fascinating. I am really impressed with the way they solve one crime after another. (Yep, I am fully aware it's only acting pero kahit na.) I am amazed how they can determine the cause of one person's death based on the evidence they are able to collect. Even the way they collect for signs and traces is impressive. How one evidence leads to another one; and when put together, present a clear picture of what had happened. Not to mention the tools and equipments in their lab which they use for visual and audio analysis, DNA determination and trace analysis ... simply wow!

Wouldn't it be cool to have a job like that? To be a ~~forsenic~~ forensic expert? I think I would be good at it. Aside from my love of chemistry, I can be very nosy. :D I am also a meticulous person (even have an OCD tendency). I am not sure though if I would not puke when things turn too gory.

Ichiro is the man!

2004-10-02T22:45:00.000+08:00

Not only is he cute, he is also one hell of a baseball player. Suzuki Ichiro of the Seattle Mariners just broke an 84-year-old MLB record -- the most number of hits in a season. Isn't he great?

おめでとうございます！

"Through my career, I think this is the best moment. I can't really put it into words." 　--　イチロー --

Birthday greeting

2004-10-02T00:05:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday Jhinggay!!!
As you turn a year older,
I pray for you happiness and love.
God bless you gurl!

Remembering friends

2004-09-30T12:41:00.000+08:00

People come and go in our life. Many just pass by and become acquaintances. But some, either through time or instant connection, become what we call as friends.

Having lived in quite a number of places in my 28 years of existence, I have met a number of people who I consider as friends. I have my neighbors and grade school classmates who were my playmates during my growing up years as a kid. I sometimes see them when I go home to Iligan for vacation. I have my high school friends who I met when I studied in Manila. Living away from home at an early age of 12, they made my life less lonelier and more fun despite tons of grueling exams, projects and homeworks. I seldom see them but everytime I get a chance to go to Manila, I meet and hang-out with some of them without fail. And when I meet up with them, there is always an instant reconnection; it is as if I was not separated from them for a long time. I also have my friends from college who made my life in Cebu fun and exciting. They helped me survived EE21 under the hands of Engr. Hilarion Lim. They were also the ones who introduced me to Mr. Gilbeys and Mr. Cuervo.:D Some were there to guide, help and comfort me in my first relationship. Then, there are my friends from work; some I met in Alabang, some in Cebu and some here in Japan. Some are still with the company; some already left for greener pastures. These people insert fun times in between tasks and workloads; making work less like work. A few I have really gotten close with. This friendship I have with them will surely last until all of us are already married with kids.:D Hopefully it will last a lifetime.

Sadly, I have lost some of my friends; one due to sickness, a few because of misunderstandings and petty quarrels, and one because things became complicated. Quite a few, I simply lost in touch with because of time and distance. I hope and pray that we get to celebrate our friendship again someday.

*****
Kat said that relationships which start from friendship are more stronger and more grounded, most likely to work-out and last. I do agree with her.

But then, in a way, I lost a friend through that. Because some things are just not meant to be, things could never be the same way again between us. Though, despite the tears in the end, I would never trade the memories coz I was really happy during those times (as short as it was), there are fleeting moments when I can't help but say to myself "if only things were different ... if only none was started ... if only we didn't cross that line ... if only we remained as friends". I want to go back to those times when an occasional funny i-know-you're-missing-me-and-dying-to-receive-a-note-from-me email from him would just bring a smile to my face, lift up my spirit and make my day. Some contained just a line or two, some made to appear longer with lyrics from a song ... but knowing that a friend in another part of the world is thinking of me and wondering how I am doing just made a difference.

[ I wonder if you still have the keychain (na nilait-lait mo lng) I gave to you a few Christmas ago. =) ]

Viva Senor San Miguel !!!

2004-09-29T11:45:00.000+08:00

Every 29th of September, Iligan (city of waterfalls) is the place to be for fiesta-goers; actually it is a month long celebration in honor of St. Michael the Archangel. There are different activities you can watch or participate in like tournaments (tennis, bowling, etc.), concerts, the Miss Iligan beauty pageant, street dancing, the panaad & procession and many more.

It has been quite a while since the last time I was in Iligan for the fiesta. (Yikees, I can't remember when that was.) When I was still in grade school, my family rarely attended the street dancing because it was too crowded. I do remember the few times I was able to witness the event. People who were part of the parade were garbed in different costumes; but most of them were either in angel costumes or had their body painted in black (representing the wicked devil). They danced on the street while shouting "Viva Senor San Miguel!". Those black-painted people, being playful, smudged some of the bystanders' face or clothing (it's not advisable to wear white or other light-colored clothing for this event). It was really fun. I wonder if it's still the same now.

FOOD ... there's a lot of that in every home. You can have lunch at one place, snacks at another and then go to another place for dinner. You will even find some houses celebrating on the eve (biesperas) of the fiesta. Aahhh the smell of food ... I can now imagine our dining table filled with lechon, dinuguan, kaldereta, papait, embutido, macaroni salad, chocolate cake, etc. Oh how I long to be home! (I better call home right after posting this entry. *inggitin ang sarili ba*)

To the Iliganons, Maayong Piyesta!!! Viva Senor San Miguel!!!

*****
Speaking of food, I just learned that the wife of my friend doesn't eat fruits of any kind. She is not allergic; she just doesn't like the smell of fruits especially the sweet kind. Isn't that weird?

My new toy

2004-09-28T12:45:00.000+08:00

To help me achieve the goals I have set for myself, I invested on a new gadget. :D My new digital audio (256mb) player is small, ultra-light and very easy to use. It can carry around 60 songs (4hours of mp3 music) and plays FM radio. Aside from that, it also has a built-in microphone for voice recordings. And what's truly amzing with the MuVo TX FM is that it also serves as a USB (2.0) memory key. You can easily transfer music or data files from your PCs with no cables or installation software needed. Just drag-and-drop! ~~Plus, you can take pictures with it.(Hehehe ... just kidding! :D)~~

Where else can you get that?

Being skip free, it is perfect for rigorous exercise and activities. Working out will never be the same again. Just this morning, I used it during my jog, and time just flew by. I am hoping to get this one though. (Can't find one being sold here; I think you need to order this from them.)

Sing, drink and be merry

2004-09-27T22:32:00.000+08:00

For someone who can hardly carry a tune, I belted out one song after another last weekend until the guitarist couldn't strum the guitar anymore. Yep, that's how much I love to sing (even if often times I make-up my own lyrics :). My sister, who's the singer in the family, compares my singing with Ate Vi's ~~singing~~ lip-synching on her show Vilma back in the late 80's; her voice is synthesized for her to sound okay. But what I can't comprehend is the fact that my friend (and my number one fan.. hehehe) K likes to hear me sing and encourages me to do so. She even has this list of songs she loves (?) hearing me sing. (I really think something is wrong with her eardrums. :D )

"Oh, as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive ... I've got all my life to live and I've got all my love to give ... And I'll survive, I will survive, hey, hey...."

*****
One thing I'm sure I am not weak at (doesn't necessarily mean I am also proud of) is tequila drinking. I have a high tolerance for alcohol that I can even out drink most of my guy friends; but I am no lasenggera. I am only an occasional drinker, not a habitual one. I have been asked by some friends (who do not drink) what it is with drinking that I like ~~so much~~. Hhmmm ... *think* ... *think* ... it is surely not the taste. I guess its the giddy and light-headed feeling that it brings. It makes you forget problems and concerns even for just a short period of time. On the contrary, it can also bring out the inner hurts and pains you have buried or are trying to bury and forget. In this way, it acts as an outlet of your hidden feelings which I believe should be let out in order to move on.

*****
One of my Friendster testimonials says that I make a party/gathering livelier and conversations more interesting. I have often wondered if I talk too much. Just last weeked, I asked my friend if I am being too loud and that if it's better for me to shut up. She said that it's okay and I shouldn't stop coz it makes everything more fun. Since I am not sure if the rest share the same opinion, I still think I better learn to mellow down a bit.

So what's the point of this entry?

What I am really trying to say ~~it's not everyday that someone like you comes my way~~ is that I am a just girl who wants to have fun. I know some may find my ways irritating because it seems as if I love getting all the attention. Maybe that is true ... or maybe, it's the only way I know to make a certain someone to notice me. ;D

Happy Birthday Lucas !!!

2004-09-26T01:58:00.000+08:00

A birthday prayer:

Heavenly Father, I praise and thank you for the many blessings You have given to me and my family. Thank you Lord for sending to us an angel who has been a constant source of great joy.

As our babyluv Lucas celebrates his first birthday today, I pray that You fill his heart and soul with love and goodness. Give him good health and always protect him from any harm. May you also dwell in the hearts of the people around him. May they be a source of strength and wisdom for our boy. Guide them to be good examples to him as he grows up to be a good Christian.

Amen.

Isn't he adorable?

Starting anew

2004-09-24T12:56:00.000+08:00

Three of my friends will be embarking on a new journey soon. One will be going home for good after a 2-year stay in Japan, two will be leaving our company and start a new career somewhere else. I feel happy and excited for them coz they have been hoping for this but still I can't help myself from feeling sad.

With my reaction regarding their moving on, I couldn't help but wonder how my friends are feeling right now. I talked to them just recently and asked how things have been. More or less, I was expecting a "I am excited and could not wait to start this new journey", but it didn't totally surpise me when I got a different answer. Well, I just wanna say,

"I know you've wanted this for so long. In some ways, you are looking forward and excited to embark on this new journey. Yet, you can't help but feel sad and melancholy. You are now having second thoughts and have started asking yourself if you have made the right decision. Don't you worry, that's a normal reaction. You have been used to this kind of life. Change can be scary. And you know what's the hardest part in the process of moving on? It is leaving behind the people you have grown to love and care for. But don't fret, distance doesn't change anything; a friend will always be a friend. They are just an IM, a text, a call or an e-mail away.=) Hey, I wish you the best in life. My prayers will be with you always. (And kung sa McDo pa, kita-kits!)"

Spark, love and relationships

2004-09-22T12:46:00.000+08:00

What makes a good relationship? What does it take to make romance work? Does having spark enough to make a relationship last and lead to a successful marriage?

For Carrie, a relationship is not a relationship without the zsa zsa zsu (a.k.a. that special something that gives you butterflies in the stomach). I think she has a point. According to my friend, starting a relationship with me is not possible simply because there's no spark. (Yep, he thought about it and considered before.) We are good friends, we are comfortable in each other's presence and we have a lot of things in common; but the zsa zsa zsu, the spark that makes a romance work, just isn't there.

..........
Last Sunday, I had a late lunch with some friends. One of the topics of our conversation was about relationships. This guy friend of mine, as eligible as he is, is still very much single. I told him maybe he's being too choosy. Like for instance, he has this lady friend who is pretty, sexy, smart and very interested in him. Yet, for him, pursuing her is out of the question. His reason? Well, he said, being with her is just too tiring. I guess he has a point. You wouldn't want to be in a relationship where you need to pretend or exert too much effort just to be in the same level with your partner.

What he said made me think of myself ... of how the opposite sex may see me. Am I the high maintenance kind of gal? Am I tiring to be with? And I can't help but wonder, is that why he gave up on me?

..........
According to this same friend of mine, when choosing a partner in life, a positive answer to questions such as: "Can I bring this person to my home and meet my parents? Can I imagine spending the rest of my life with this person? Would this person be a good parent?" is more important than good looks and sexy body. And I definitely agree with that.

..........
"Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies." - Carrie

A new chapter

2004-09-21T22:37:00.000+08:00

For the past months, I have been thinking whether to go home for good this coming December or stay here in Japan a little bit longer. After careful considerations, I was slowly welcoming the idea of staying until March next year.

However, just this morning I found out that my life will be taking a different course. I had a meeting with my boss to discuss the new project we will be starting on this October. Based on the project schedule, final release will be on June 2005. After hearing the sked, I informed my boss about my plans of going home for good March next year. He replied that doing so is not possible coz March is in the middle of a critical phase. In fact, going home after June is still out of the question since this project is a new one thus we will be expecting quite a number of problems even after the release. Doing skill transfer during that time is not advisable. It will also be a waste of time and resources. Now, it's a choice of going home this coming December or December next year. And definitely, December 2005 is a no-no for me; which means I will be going home sooner than I expected.

Though I haven't told him about my final decision, I think he already has an idea of how things will turn out. I guess he noticed my apprehensions during the meeting. He is really supportive; as much as he wants me to stay, he is aware of my longing to go home and be close to my family considering that I've been in Japan for more than 3 years now. He just wants me to think it over, decide and then inform him.

The reality of it sinking in left me numb. It was quite a shock. Then I started to panic. There so many things I need to do: finish remaining work items (na super dami pa talaga), prepare for skill transfer, pack my one million and one stuff (I have accumulated so much things!) and so on and so forth. After talking about it with my friends over the net, I suddenly felt relieved and excited. I began looking forward to my going home.

It is right time to begin a new chapter in my life. I wonder what lies ahead this new path. I do hope and pray that it will be filled with lots of colors and beautiful music. (^.^)

(Now I wonder why I've been putting this one off.)

Life's goals

2004-09-20T20:56:00.000+08:00

Today is a holiday in Japan; it's a day for the old. (Yep, they have such a holiday like a day for the children and for people who are coming of age.) During this Sunday's mass sermon, the officiating priest, who's already 73 years old, talked about how we should be prepared for our own old age though they may seem years, years away. That when that time comes, we should be able to look back and be glad how things have turned out. That one should start planning one's life as early as now.

For someone who's not good at making decisions, planning one's life is next to impossible. Just last Saturday, I had a difficulty deciding whether to go to the gym or go swimming the next day. Yep, things as simple as that ... what more for heavy matters such as answers to the question "Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?".

Actually, I do have a concrete answer to that question. But no matter how much I want it to happen, it's not something I have a complete control of. However, there are some little things I can do to make this plan of mine more tangible. And last Saturday night, my friend and I talked about planning our life and setting goals. They don't have to be big and life-altering; little ones will do. So far, I have set a few ones for myself. These are my goals for the remaining months of this year and next year:

Lose 5 kilos by December 2004.
Pass JLPT.
Lose another 5kilos by March 2005. (so that's 10kls less my weight now)
Go to Boracay or Palawan next summer.
Weigh around 55-65 kilos by next birthday.
Participate in GK777.
Learn how to play the guitar.
Learn how to drive a car by December 2005.

These goals may be silly and senseless for some people; but for me, achieving them would lead me closer to my ultimate goal and eventually bring me true happiness. And hopefully, when old age comes, I will be able to look back and say, "Life was good."

It's now or never

Jeff Dunham - Achmed the Dead Terrorist

Fire On The Mountain by Asa [Asha]

Oh it's what you do to me

Better Together (live)

Someday

Birthday blues ...

Belated happy birthday to you ...

Feeling ganda ko naman (^o^)v

The AI fanatic in me

The AI fanatic in me

Killing time...

Skipping lunch is a no-no

I am no Demi ...

Crazy Game

AI5

sa-wat dee kaa

The way we were...

それが人生なのさ。。。

Crazy things you do in the wee hours of the morning

Self-pity attack

----

What a lovely wedding!

What's up with me?

Birthday birthday

My birthday gift to myself

A pint of ice cream coming up...

Am I too old for this?

Krishie

One

What's up?

Love is in the air?

From one beach to another...

kinason, peristalsis, yellow-shorts-guy, tricycad race, torn hammock, etc.

Welcome, little one!

Wear and tear ?

Looking back ... and moving on

People as mirrors

Solemn post for the holy week

Alive & kicking

Chocolates, cookies, cakes & other sweets ... heaven!

All packed up and ready to go? Uh-uh nowhere close ...

Crazy AI fan?

trabaho, lakwatsa, ai atbp.

AI!

Itsy bitsy, teeny weeny ....

ski adventure

Valentine's day in JP

Winter wonderland

The Valentine's Pact

Happiness

Words of wisdom

lagi na lang ako ...

Politically ignorant

Acting my age

Let it snow, let it snow

As a woman, is being successful a bad thing?

As good as new!

That's very kind of you!

Dating vs. Courtship

Rapport

I'm back!

Happy holidays!

Gift giving

Grudges

Journey

Yipeee!

Just venting

*Sigh*

Anxiety

My Wish List

(My) Life's purpose

Love is in the air

A date with myself ...

Breaking-up

If only ..., but then ...

To the one constant man in my life

A new look

日本語の勉強 (updated)

Longing

Sigh

日本語の勉強　(updated)