It's now or never

He called to ask if he could change my mind and convince me to come. I gave him a pretty lame excuse of being busy thus not being able to take a day off from work. He said he's willing to pay for my fare. I told him that money is not an issue. I wanted to be there but just couldn't.

That happened two days ago. He is getting married today. My good friend who has sent me flowers during my last two birthdays. The one who never fails to see me everytime I am in Manila; who offers to pick me up or bring me to the airport, takes me to places where the food is great and shows me how glad he is to see me again.

We stopped talking since the last time I saw him in Manila last September ... the time when he told me that he has already accepted the fact that he would be a married man soon. There were still occasional text messages and phone calls but brief and impersonal ones. Gone were the calls that lasted for hours and the text messages asking how my day was.

I guess it was best that way.

Still, I can't help but wonder how things would have turned out if I replied differently ... on that fateful night in August. If we had the chance to do it all again ... Tell me, would we? could we?

"Mem’ries, may be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So it’s the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember...
The way we were...
The way we were... "
-- Way we were, Barbra Streisand