Breaking-up - 11/19/2004
After reading Simmer's comment on one of Kat's post, I suddenly felt the urge to write something about breaking-up.

When you're the receiving end of a break-up, would you prefer hearing a white lie as an excuse or would you rather hear the painful truth?

"I just need time to reassess my life."
"I just realized that I am not ready for a commitment."
"It's not you .. . it's me. I am really confused right now. I need to be alone to think."
"Work has been hell. I could not give you the attention you deserve."

These are just some examples of white lies. Most "breakers" think saying a white lie is the better way in breaking-up with someone. It would be less painful. (Do they really have the other party's feeling in mind? Or they just want to appear less cruel and heartless?)

I believe that a white lie can be more damaging. It makes moving on harder to do. It makes a person think that there is still hope; that there is still a chance ...

... after taking his time and is done with his reassessing.
... when he is ready for a commitment.
... once he is less busy with work.

So, the person keeps on waiting and hoping; only to find out in the end that there is really nothing there to wait for. Thus, a white lie causes more pain in the long run.


A hard truth is painful. It can break one's heart into pieces. It can cause buckets of tears to fall. It can be devastating. But knowing that it is really over, after all the mourning, there's nothing left for the person to do but wipe out the tears, pick up the pieces, learn from the experience and move on. And yes, it does make a person stronger.


(Kat, I'll post a part of the song din ha :)

...all i ask is just a little honesty
though i know that you're not coming back to me
you know i'll do anything to make you stay
but i just have to let you go
if the feeling is gone...



-----


You want to know the lamest excuse I've heard so far?

*cough* "I am really sick and don't have that many years left to live. I couldn't let you be a part of this. It wouldn't be fair to you. So, I must let you go." *cough*

(That is from someone who got married two years later.)