It's now or never

Dating scares me a bit. Maybe because I am not used to it. With my first boyfriend (well, before we became a WE), since it was sort of an unforbidden thing, a friend of mine was with us most of the time. (At first, I even thought he was interested in my friend.) Yep, he had to spend a little more money just to get to know me better. With the second one, since we were friends, it was not even called a "date"; it was called a "gimik". I remember my friends teasing and laughing at me when I insisted we were not going on a date coz he didn't ask me the question "Can we go out on a date?" but instead asked "Gusto mo gumimik?".=D Well, besides that, there were a couple more but just the "friendly" kind.

Well, a couple of weeks ago, my friend T and her Japanese friend R-chan stayed overnight at my place. As expected when a bunch of girls get together, a lot of talking happened. We got to talk about how bad my Japanese still was even after 3 years in Japan. R-chan suggested that I should get myself a Japanese boyfriend; and in that way, I would surely improve my Japanese. T and R-chan then thought of Japanese guys they know who they can introduce me to. I just laughed when they started naming names coz I didn't think they were serious about it. Well, last Friday I received an email from T telling me than R-chan is asking if I am okay with the idea of meeting her cousin and if so, when will I be available. What? Is she serious? -- that was the first thing that entered my mind. For someone who is not comfortable going on dates, the "blind" kind is somewhat terrifying. I can't imagine myself going out on a date with someone I don't know at all. So, I told T that I think it would be better if we first hang out as a group; then, we'll just see what happens after that. (I was told that Japanese are not into "group dates".)

Going out and meeting new people is a nice thing. Actually, I find it rather exciting. What I am really afraid of is the reaction I will be receiving from the other party when he sees me. I can't afford my pride (what's left of it anyway) to be trampled upon.


(Insecurity stikes again.)